Hugh Hefner generously announced today that naked Miley Cyrus would be nakedly “welcomed in [his] magazine” full of naked ladies—when she’s of age, of course. [Us] This isn’t the first time that the doddering coot, or his kin, pulled such a stunt, knowing full well the offer would get a write up in the gossip columns, but that the starlets would never agree. Below, a look back at some of the million dollar deals, made by creepy old men, and Joe Francis, that never were.
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• As the battle between the ‘Giuliani Girl’ and the ‘Obama Girl’ heats up, Team Barack “keeps to their tradition of balancing booty with wit, using a pop-up Al Gore to excellent effect, along with the somewhat hapless character of “Kucinich Girl,” which is a nice nod to lower-tier candidates (though one shudders to think of what “Gravel Girl” might look like).”
• Larry Flynt to Tucker Carlson: “I’m a slimeball, and you can’t dance.”
• According to the results of a new Harvard study, “young people do not make an appointment with news every day the way older adults do.” As a result, teens also tend not to talk like out-of-touch septuagenarians.
• WaPo brings “local news” to excruciatingly boring macroscopic level.
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Ever slept with an elected government official? Know someone who has? Sure, you could go the Jessica Cutler route, but then odds are you’ll be bankrupt in the next couple of years.
So, what then? Well, how’s about answering Hustler magazine’s open call to arms instead! To collect your $1 million reward, all you need to do is prove you banged a congressman, senator or supreme court justice, and—if your tip checks out—you’re in the money.
Hustler magazine publisher Larry Flynt told the Examiner “that the newspaper ad he took out last week offering a million-dollar bounty for evidence of illicit sexual activity with lawmakers has yielded about 200 tips so far. He said he’ll let them continue to trickle in over the next two weeks or so before his team begins to follow up on them.”
But, you might wonder, ‘is Hustler’s pay-per-play operation against the law?’
Because while you may have no moral or ethical objections to sleeping with a married U.S. legislator, you saw The People Vs. Larry Flynt and thought to yourself, ‘Hey, that guy’s kinda sketchy. Also, he kinda looks like Woody Harrelson.’ Plus you’re slightly uncomfortable about the prospect of profiting from your promiscuity by selling your adulterous bedtime stories to anyone who goes by the nickname ‘The King Of Smut.’
Unless, of course, it’s legal—in which case you’re totally down.
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