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Christina Aguilera might have a hard time consummating her marriage to Jordan Bratman, given his professed extra large endowment. [R&M]

• Ever since Chelsea Clinton quickly unhitched herself from Tara Reid’s hip after mama Hillary got word of their pairing, Tara’s been looking for a new friend. And she’s found one in the form of Kirsten Dunst, the ex-good girl turned party girl. [Perez Hilton]

• First Lindsay Lohan, now an identified clubgoer at Cain. The fake celebrity swindling just keeps on keeping on, this time with a faux Jude Law snagging a female nightcap. [Page Six]

• What was Britney Spears‘ biggest investment on her trip to NYC with Kevin Federline? After seeing Sweet Charity (in which the talent-challenged duo may star), the pop tart got inch long fingernails to scratch at any photog without a contract. [Page Six]

• How appropriate: Jenna Bush parties at Fat Girl. [Page Six]

• Most inventive way to get out of an interview with the New York Post? If you’re Lara Flynn Boyle, get written off your TV show. [NYP]

• Congrats to Lloyd Grove, who got a whopping $90 bucks for selling off his personally autographed copy of Scooter Libby’s bestiality book on eBay. [Lowdown]

• Everyone together now: “Awww!” That goes out to George Clooney, who felt depressed while shooting Syriana because of all the weight he had to gain. [The Scoop]

• Ex-Men’s Journal editor Michael Caruso once again spotted dining at Michael’s with Men’s Health editor David Zinczenko. Friends? Colleagues? Dan Abrams image consultants? [Page Six]

Nov 22, 2005 · Link · Respond

Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie enjoyed their first “official public appearance as a couple. And by “public” we mean avoiding the red carpet and slipping inside through a back door. [Star]

Us Weekly is claiming firsties on Christina Aguilera’s marriage to music exec Jordan Bratman. The weekend wedding in Napa was absolutely start studded — Sharon Stone was there, and so was Aguilera’s manager Irving Azoff! Paparazzi frenzy, narrowly avoided. [Us Weekly]

• So desperate to get on The Ellen Degeneres Show, ex-Cosmopolitan editor Helen Gurley Brown hired a choreagrapher and cameraman to tape her dancing to Andrew Lloyd Webber, which will make a great reel at the next Cosmo lunch. [Gatecrasher]

• If Nelly is going to drop $10,000 at a strip club, he can certainly afford to drop $10,000 on charity. Hooray for guilty consciouses. [Page Six]

Jay-Z is putting the finishing touches on his Tribeca penthouse, which he had to fight to buy last year thanks to wary tenants. But it was worth the fight: He’ll be able to escape his Time Warner Center pad, which counts girlfriend Beyonce’s mom Tina as a neighbor. [R&M]

• The NYPD might not know who Peter Braunstein is, but they do know he’s been caught. You know, except he’s hasn’t. [Gatecrasher]

Kelly Osbourne is furious at Stavros Niarchos for ruining her 21st birthday bash in Vegas by pulling the sprinkler lever. Oh the irony of Kelly calling Stavros a stupid rich kid with too much money. [Page Six]

• Some say CBGB’s is moving to the Hard Rock Hotel in Times Square, but owner Hilly Kristal wouldn’t know about it. Either way, we walked past it one night this weekend — and the crowd that spilled out onto the sidewalk didn’t exactly indicate an eviction notice. [Lowdown]

Nick Lachey + porn star = Tabloid heaven. [Page Six]

• Surprise: Whacked out Joaquin Phoenix skipped another Walk The Line event. [Page Six]

Nov 21, 2005 · Link · Respond