Jiblets 38004

• Remember that time after Lindsay Lohan’s second (or third?) DUI arrest, when a tearful Lindsay Lohan assured us that wasn’t her coke sticking out of her pants pocket and, come to think of it, those weren’t even her pants? Well, apparently some court actually bought it.

• Political consultant Roger Stone is axed by state Senate Republicans for ringing up 83-year old Bernard Spitzer and politely suggesting that his son is a “phony, psycho piece of shit.”

• Feeling overworked and underpaid recently? Then, you’ll be disgusted to learn that the dumb one from The Hills is banking somewhere between $10K and $20K a week. Even worse? Wounded Iraq vets are pulling in approximately $460. A month.

• When he lived above the CNN center in Atlanta, Ted Turner reportedly used to parade around the newsroom in his special post-coital bathrobe. Sexy time!

• Ever wondered what it’s like working for a lecherous Aussie (and borderline alcoholic) with a bulbous nose, and an encyclopedic knowledge of stripper perfume? Yeah, neither have we.

• Meanwhile, ever paired tight low-ride jeans with a short fitted top? Then, you might be part of an alarming new “epidemic.” Overly concerned adults are calling this disturbing trend “half-dressing,” while the rest of the world is calling it “not looking like total dork.”