• Breaking! Brad Pitt to stop doing nude scenes and start making crappy family-friendly films a la Mr. Magorium’s Wonder Emporium. And while he’s at it, he’s also going to offend Jack Nicholson, Clint Eastwood and Meryl Streep by insisting that acting is a “younger person’s game.”
• “A meeting held at Madison Square Garden Wednesday between New York Knicks ownership and head coach Isiah Thomas was interrupted more than half a dozen times by ‘Fire Isiah’ chants which came at various points throughout the two-hour-long discussion, Knicks officials reported.” Okay, fine, so that didn’t really happen. But we’re thinking it’s just a matter of time.
• The most objectively attractive male contestant on Project Runway receives the honor of dressing Tiki Barber. In semi-related news, this is officially the happiest moment of his life since the day he got cheekbone implants.
• Cyndi Lauper sees Christian Slater’s forehead, raises him a blank, hollow expression and face full of Restylane.
• Victoria’s Secret gives Stereohyped editor Lauren Williams (and some random LAX passengers) free pajamas, the chance to feel short and stumpy next to an army of 6 foot-tall Brazillian stunners and an amazing story to tell her grandchildren.
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