Ever wondered what you’ve always been missing by depriving yourself of $4.5 million diamond-encrusted panties? Don’t. According to model Selita Ebanks, “the diamonds between [your] legs pinch” so the experience is roughly analogous to “getting a Brazilian wax every two seconds.??? Granny panties never looked/felt so good. [R&M via Stereohyped]
It’s not just Milan trying to make modeling, ahem, safer. (Pause, swallow, breathe. Modeling can be, like, life threatening.) Now London Fashion Week might wave g’bye to girls under 16, fearing these young things might develop eating disorders to maintain the human hangar look the runway requires.
There’s also, supposedly, a risk of sexual exploitation because these young girls are made up to look like older women.
Just like your younger sister at Guest House.
You think Anna Wintour was going to let Portfolio steal the thunder at 4 Times Square this month? Uh, uh. That’s why she stuck 10 skinny bitches on the cover who most Vogue readers won’t recognize. That’s because they’re models. You know, those women whose bodies are a temple to couture and haven’t seen the cover of an American fashion magazine for the better part of a decade? Yeah, them.
But before you run off to the newsstand, look before you leap … at the cover line. “The World’s Next Top Models.” That couldn’t be a slight dig at Tyra Banks’ reality show – the one Wintour turned down with a condescending nod – could it?
We’re not sure how we missed this days-old clip from LX.tv about model-host-Advocate coverboy Pedro Andrade showing us what it’s really like to be a male model. But let’s just say it’s tempting to take up this lifestyle when our visa sponsor employer threatens to send us back to the banana fields in Brazil.
(Full disclosure: LX.tv is a Jossip production partner. And when they title a clip “Sexy Pedro,” how can we overlook it?)
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Do you see what all that complaining about too-thin models has done? Now they’re so large, they don’t even fit in the frame. Fatties.
• For banking $21 million in her jewelry auction, Ellen Barkin could’ve at least afforded a martini to throw in ex-husband Ron Perelman’s face.
• Madonna’s children’s book effort began with 350,000 copies sold of her first book. Post-African adoption scandal, her latest in the series has yet to move even five-figures worth.
• Paris Hilton’s wonky eye and Nicole Richie’s wrists hit the Victoria’s Secret fashion show.
• Sacha Baron Cohen faces another lawsuit from a movie subject who claims she was lied to. This, from a woman who won’t wipe Borat’s ass for him.
• That Jann Wenner has a son should put to rest the notion that gays in media can’t have kids.
• Lady models aren’t the only ones with drug problems.
Today the New York Times‘ Styles section actually spends a bit of time covering (wait for it) fashion. It’s a miracle. And the fashion piece aren’t even really trend pieces, but come to be this anomaly known as “fashion reporting.” And one of these reported pieces is on 15-year-old model Chanel Iman.
Modeling, it seems, was her “birth right.” She was born to walk runways, wear couture, and flip around at photo shoots in front of fans and stuff. And it’s not just because her name is Chanel Iman either. She’s gorgeous, and tall, and under 18. And under 110 pounds.
???I was at Stella McCartney???s show,??? she said, ???and I???m dying to go to the bathroom, and so I went up to this guy and asked: ???Do you work here? Do you know where the bathroom is???? I didn???t know it was Paul McCartney! I mean, I know who Paul McCartney is, but I didn???t know what he looked like.???
And it’s not like “brain surgeon” was really a viable career option.
A Model From Day 1 [Eric Wilson, New York Times]
• The Italians are accosting adopt-a-model spokesperson Dylan Stableford. [FBNY]
• We would find this article sentimental or something, except the only game we’ve ever seen played in Prospect Park is softball. [NYT]
• Andrew Krucoff earns his Conde Nast potatoes, one charity dollar at a time. [YM]
• Brian Williams tries to save Saturday Night Live, viewers remain unimpressed. [You Tube, Gothamist]
• Because everyone in New York thought that the 9/11 hijackers never laughed before. Not once in their lives ever. [NYDN]
• There is a reason all writers are alcoholics. That’s the only topic that really sells books. [NYO]
• Cindy Crawford isn’t saying she didn’t get Botox — she’s just saying the fake interview that ran in Gala is a bunch of bull. [Page Six]
• Friends, family, and fans say goodbye to Steve Irwin. By laughing at all the times he almost died but didn’t. And then cried again. [AP]
• Who hasn’t Madonna drunk dialed with an offer to do freaky things to them? JFK Jr. is, like, a given. [NYDN]
• Dina Lohan tells Star magazine that her and Lindsay are tired of the tabloid’s crap. And that Lindsay won’t be doing cartwheels. Which is breaking news, considering, you know, her wrist is broken. [Star]
• Jared Kushner’s dad bribed his safety schools, too? Now that’s just good business savvy. [Ivy Leak]
• Cindy Adams has been writing her gossip column longer than we’ve been alive. That’s kind of sad … but still worth a shout-out. Especially since she coined the phrase which headlines this daily round-up. [Cindy Adams]
bull; This is more “tri-state” but if Jim “McG” McGreevy’s sultry tell-all is good enough for Oprah, it’s good enough for us. Plus, we can’t really imagine anything like this happening in Texas or Nebraska. [NYDN]
• Television news just discovered the Ghetto Film School, and they’ll be talking about it for a whole two days. We know Black people are fascinating, but do yourself a favor and opt to check out the site before the nice White lady on TV gives you an inside look. [GFS]
• A new model called “Sweet 16″ tells Animal NY it’s her energy, not coke, that keeps her going. Yeah. Uh-huh. Energy. [Animal]
No regular-sized models need apply this year in Madrid’s couture shows. And by “regular-sized models” we mean the models who are the size of all other models — the emaciated size negative four girls that live on cocaine and champagne and endive. Hey, don’t look at us — Madrid is the one who doesn’t want “underweight models” gracing their runways.
In light of recent protests that drug addict looking waifs cause eating disorders, the bean poles have been turned away in favor of more natural, healthy looking girls. This news makes Cathy Gould, of Elite modeling in New York, very unhappy.
“I think its outrageous, I understand they want to set this tone of healthy beautiful women, but what about discrimination against the model and what about the freedom of the designer,” said Gould, Elite’s North America director, adding that the move could harm careers of naturally “gazelle-like” models.
Designers, agents, and models themselves have spent years depriving catwalkers of nutrients, food, and sunlight so that their dresses can fall off their bodies just so as they strut down the runway just before fainting. And now Madrid, a city that doesn’t even come near New York, Paris, Milan, or even London on the fashion scale, is threatening to ruin all of it by giving clothes to girls who eat crackers and wear a size 2. It’s ridiculous.
Ban on skinny models shocks fashion worl [Andrew Hay, Reuters]
What’s Thursday good for if not a couple topless models dancing around? It’s never too early in the morning for a Sienna Miller gone wild (sort of) photo shoot video.
Not like we haven’t seen Sienna’s boobs before (hello, she just had a Swordfish like shoot in Vanity Fair), but this Pirelli calendar shoot (no, we have no idea when it’s from) takes it to another level.
Minus the drugs on tape, Sienna is shaping up to become a Kate Moss in the making. Though, when Kate danced topless in a video, she didn’t so much dance as jump around like a seizure victim. Plus, all the nude photo shoots of Kate take place on a rooftop. And Kate never had a horse.
But the video is full of cheesy fake lesbian fun, which never hurt anyone. Except maybe Christina Aguilera who got totally shafted at the VMAs.
Sienna Miller Nude Pirelli Video and Pictures [Egotastic]
Even though she needs someone who can read and write to help with the project, Kate Moss definitely has plans to pen a (dare we use the term?) memoir of her life as a drug addicted model.
Though she claims she wants to use this opportunity to “set the record straight” on her recent club hop-upping, we think she should just write about the drug stuff.
It would definitely up her sales by giving the inside scoop on her crazy, coke snorting, spaz dancing, naked roof posing escapades.
And then maybe she can build a school for children who can’t read good, and want to learn how to do other stuff good, too.
Kate Moss Memoir to Chronicle Her Life [Monique Jessen and Stephen M. Silverman, People]
Let’s turn our attention to Maggie Rizer, the supermodel with a soon-to-be household name just like Lindsay Lohan. Also like Lindsay Lohan, Maggie has a father more in love with her money than anything else. (Well, in Maggie’s case it’s her stepfather, but it just as well couldn’ve been her biological father if he didn’t do something typical of a homo like get AIDS and die.)
After grossing $7 million from $30,000-per-day photo shoots and $20,000-per-show runways, nearly all of Maggie’s fortune has gone the way of Oprah’s waistline (at least this season) after her father, John, who she entrusted with her finances, blew it all on Quick Draw lotto tickets.
Some might say this teaches another lesson of the perils of mixing business with family. But us? We’re sticking to the “coke habits are cheaper” theory.