Look, here are the facts: If you drink the wrong soda, you???ll go to hell. Tucker Carlson is only reporting the news here, folks. Another fact to report: Michael Musto is kind of crazy.
• ???He likes Fanta. That is one of the coolest facts I???ve ever heard. I like Fanta too, to be completely honest with you. I like Fresca better, but Fanta is a very close second, right above Mr. Pibb, but below Fresca.??? Tucker Carlson, pimping for an audience with Pope Benedict XVI, Tucker, December 7
• ???I actually have ???Jeopardy Champion??? printed on my business cards.??? Anderson Cooper, on his greatest accomplishment, Anderson Cooper 360, December 11
• ???All right. Just ahead???my tie is a little crooked, isn???t it? There we go.??? Anderson Cooper, desperate to be ???straight,??? Anderson Cooper 360, December 11
• ???The only test that Britney does well at are, like, home pregnancy tests and her STD tests. You know she’s excited because, like, ‘I came up positive! Isn???t that great??????? Michael Musto, on the only exams Britney Spears ever studied for, Countdown, December 12
• ???She is going to have K-Fed???s nuts roasting on open fire. I do think also the kids are going to gather around yon virgin ??? maybe not. Look, I think, they are going to roast K-Fed???s latest white rap record with some stuffing and razzleberry-dressing.??? Michael Musto, pondering Christmas, Britney Spears style, Countdown, December 12
• ???Why do you need wigs for your cat? I have no idea. That???s sort of a little Paris Hilton wig there. There???s another. That???s kind of a blue Naomi Campbell look. I don???t know.??? Anderson Cooper, revealing his fear of balding, Anderson Cooper 360, December 12
• ???We don???t normally associate romance with politics. But hey, we do want courtship to some degree, the feeling of a candidate understanding us.??? Anderson Cooper, longing to be seduced by Mitt Romney, Anderson Cooper 360, December 12
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