• ???Have you ever spent time around children, Alison? They’re awful. They’re needy, they’re boring, they can’t hold their liquor.??? Christian Finnegan, revealing why Britney Spears can???t bond with her kids, Countdown, December 17
• ???I’ll admit, it does sound tacky until you realize that it is just part of Fox’s hit new reality show, Nativity with the Stars. That???s right. They’ve got Latoya Jackson as the Blessed Virgin. They have Daniel Baldwin, Terry Bradshaw, and the ???Mambo Number Five??? guys, the wise men and, for Baby Jesus, I???ll say, there???s an offer out for Verne Troyer.??? Christian Finnegan, explaining why Michael Lohan played Joseph in a nativity play, Countdown, December 17
• ???Once again, Ms. Roberts is gutsy and a patriot, and if we can help you, madam, you let us know.??? Bill O???Reilly, praying for a holiday miracle: namely, Julia Roberts coming on his show, The O???Reilly Factor, December 18
• ???I bet at least one of those prisoners is named Candy Strand.??? Anderson Cooper, sharing his prison fantasies, Anderson Cooper 360, December 19
• ???A lawyer runs away. There???s millions of us. Who cares!??? Bernie Grimm, explaining his expendability, On the Record, December 20
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