• We might worship different Gods, but anyone can appreciate a Britney crotch shot figurine.
• Spears family etiquette says giving a figurine of your own crotch is in bad taste, so Britney looks for baby clothes for her little sister.
• If you’re in the market for a passive-aggressive gift, get Pam Anderson’s almost ex-husband, Rick Salomon, the Mindfreak DVD. Allegedly, Criss Angel caused Rick and Pam’s near divorce.
• Sex tapes always fit! Pete Doherty is trying to sell some intimate moments he had with Kate Moss to Britain???s ITV2. Lawsuits also always fit, and Kate Moss’s lawyers are going after him.
• For this Christmas, Lindsay Lohan would like money. And she’ll even chew smokeless tobacco for it.
• Katie Holmes would love a new haircut, especially one that doesn’t make her look exactly like her toddler child.
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