• Oprah Winfrey is really, really sorry that she “saved” a bunch of impoverished South African children by subjected them to habitual beatings and repeated fondlings.
• Paris’ body is a wonderland.
• So is Hugh Jackman’s, but for very different reasons.
• Catherine Zeta-Jones, like all women in Hollywood who drop a few pounds from eating healthy and exercising regularly, totes has an eating disorder.
• Meanwhile, Cate Blanchett has put on 2 or 3 pounds, which constitutes irrefutable evidence that she’s knocked up.
• Jessica Simpson reminds us why her (creepy!) dad/manager is so proud of his daughter’s rack.
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