“Anne Heche says she can no longer afford to pay the nearly $15,000-a-month in child and spousal support because she’s unemployed after the cancellation of Men In Trees.
“‘I am continuing to look for work, but I have no offers pending and the impending strike by the Screen Actors Guild reduces my prospects for work even further,’ Heche, 38, writes in court papers.
“A judge Wednesday gave her a temporary break, saying she didn’t have to pay her next support payment to her ex Coley Laffoon, 34, covering the month of July. But Superior Court Judge Gail Ruderman Feuer ordered the actress to provide updated income and expense information.” [People]
• One-legged philanthropist Heather Mills rejects Paul McCartney’s paltry $41 million divorce settlement offer, but agrees to put ‘all this pettiness aside’ for the nominal fee of $102 million.
• In the philosophizing words of Cisco Adler, a pseudo rock star who has very strange-looking genitals, “I tend to find myself dating famous women sometimes. I just write dope songs and [bleep] hot bitches.” Such is life.
• Kate Hudson “[bleeps] with the media” by only pretending to date a shirtless comedian, whose nose has never been broken and then pieced back together by a semi-drunk plastic surgeon.
• Steve Martin will finally marry his longtime girlfriend, former New Yorker writer Anne Stringfield, after rationalizing that she’s a hell of a lot better than his ex-girlfriend, full-time crazy-person, Anne Heche.
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• Only days after finding God, Paris Hilton is already looking forward to her spiritual reawakening/out of jail Vegas bash.
• Ryan Phillippe’s little girl is growing up so fast. In fact, she already looks just like that gorgeous actress he cheated on.
• Bobby Brown is still convinced that deranged Whitney fan Osama Bin Laden is out to get him.
• Meanwhile, the Butterscotch Stallion rides his mountain bike all the way Scores.
• Also, when Anne Heche isn’t flirting with every girl in sight, she’s draping herself over Ethan Hawke.
• Dermot Mulroney is officially done being married to actress Catherine Keener. But he still plans to watch her edgy indy flicks religiously on DVD.
• Nerdy spelling bee contestant inadvertently sums up the state of our country.
• Richie Sambora checks into rehab to cope with his I-used-to-bang-Denise-Richards withdrawal symptoms.
• Anne Heche hits the 35th annual AFI Life Awards while that-guy-she-left-her-husband-for stays at home.
• Mila Kunis reminds us of the real reason anyone watched That 70’s Show.
• Sienna Miller is so upset about being branded a slut that she didn’t even answer her phone when Diddy booty-called her last night.
After yesterday’s well-received foray into the courtroom drama, we’ve decided to offer you a momentary respite from your grueling day [Ed: of pretending to work] with another entertaining legal snippet.
Today’s installment revolves around Anne Heche’s messy custody battle with her soon-to-be ex-husband, Coleman Laffoon (his real name!) Heche, best known for dating Ellen DeGeneres and having a crazy nervous breakdown, doesn’t pull any punches, going for Laffoon’s jugular with charges that he’s less “stay-at-home dad” and more “unemployed porn freak.”
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