Jill Duggar is apparently full of surprises.
The 28-year old is part of what many consider to be the most famously conservative family around…
… and yet she has taken to her blog in order to offer a number of tips for women on how to maintain a healthy and happy marriage.
The piece of advice garnering the most attention right now? For a very understandable reason?
Duggar encouraging women to sleep with their husband often. Like, very often. Like, a majority of nights in a seven-day week.
Is she saying this because she has a strong sex drive? Or because she thinks this is what men want and it’s the role of women to be subservient at all times?
Scroll down to read a lot from Jill and then arrive at a decision on your own…
More Than Sex: How To Love Your Husband
This is the title of the blog entry penned by Jill that has taken the Internet by surprising storm.
So in Love!
“Five years ago this month, I married the man of my dreams, Derick Michael Dillard,” explained Jill early in this entry. “Some of you may have watched our love story unfold on TV…if you want to read our love story you can click here. Anyways, like most couples when they get married, we were head over heels for each other…and now, nearly five years later, I can happily say that we are still very much in love. “
Newlywed Phase, Schmewlywed Phase
Jill bristles at the notion that couples should ever be in a “newlywed phase.” She thinks there are ways to ensure husbands and wives are ALWAYS happy and content in their marriage, which is why she has written this piece.
Words of Warning
“I don’t claim to know everything about marriage, or to be presenting some solve-all advice, and I’m only really speaking to wives here, but I hope you find some of these tips to be encouraging!” Jill wrote before delving into all her tips. Are you ready? Let’s go!
Have Sex Often!
“You both need this time together regularly (3-4 times a week is a good start. lol). And when you may not be able to actually have intercourse for a period of time or for health issues, find other ways to have fun and be intimate. Let your spouse know that you’re aways available. Guard against fulfilling sexual desires alone. Be open with your spouse about your desires and change things up to keep it exciting! (Philippians 2:3-4; 1 Corinthians 7:5) If you’re struggling with sex with your spouse, GET HELP! See a doctor and/or licensed counselor and don’t be afraid to get second opinions!”
Be Open About Everything
“Past, present and future! You need to be able to trust each other with the easy and the hard! Secrets are seeds for destruction! (1 Corinthians 10:13) Sometimes there may be seasons of difficulty or you may have to rebuild broken trust. Ask God to help you and get outside help if needed. We aren’t meant to live life in isolation! We need support and community! (Ecclesiastes 4:9-12; Galatians 6:2)”
Tell Your Spouse When They Hurt You or When You Have a Problem with Something and Be Quick to Forgive!
“Speak up in love or else the problem will just linger and you may suffer unnecessarily and resentment might build up. See a licensed counselor or get help if problems persist! (Eph. 4:25-27; Matthew 18) However, if you are in an abusive relationship, do NOT stay! Report immediately to the authorities, get help and find a safe place to stay and get counseling from a licensed christian counselor!”
Pray and Fast for Your Husband
“Ask him how you can pray for him and let him know when you do (e.g. send him text messages &/or write a little note). “
Look for Ways to Encourage Your Hubby, Serve Him and Meet His Needs
(God creates us all with a desire to be wanted!) Take the 5 Love Languages quiz together to find out the top ways you each receive love, then look for ways to show it!
Try to Get at Least 15-20 Minutes of Uninterrupted Time to Talk Every Day!
(Time to talk is important!) When he is talking, be quiet and listen, don’t interrupt and draw conclusions or offer advice right away.
Look Nice for Him
“It’s easy to get home and throw on the frumpy pjs and wash your makeup off, but make sure that a few times a week you enjoy time together looking like you would hanging out when you were dating! Plus, even if you work from home, just getting fixed up in the morning can give you a boost to your day!”
Go to Bed Fresh
“It’s easy to just want to shower in the morning to wake ourselves up, but showering in the evening (and sometimes before he gets home if you arrive home before him!), and even putting on fragrant lotion in front of him can be another way to say “I care†and “you’re important to me,†and lets him know you’re up for fun whenever he is.”
Don’t Gossip or Name Call, Even If Joking
“Be careful not to speak down about one another to each other and/or in the company of others! My parents have been good examples of this to us kids. They would say that “put-downs can plant seeds for divorce in the futureâ€Â! Beware and ask your spouse to point out to you if you slip up! This can be an easy trap to fall into, especially if you’re hanging out with people and they’re all telling stories or making jokes about their spouses. “If you can’t say somethin’ nice, don’t say anything at all!†(Thumper from Bambi)”
Never Allow Your Husband to Think You’re His Mother
“Whether it’s making demands, delegating, or licking your finger and wiping something off his face…if he says “I feel like you’re my mother when you…â€Â, then pay attention to that and ask him what you can to do change/how to handle the situation the next time!”
Don’t Be Disrespectful
“While security for wives is usually of utmost importance, respect is probably most important for most husbands! Ask your hubby what you do that makes him feel respected, and ask him in what other ways that he thinks you could show him more respect.”
Call Him by a Fun or Sweet Name!
Save his name/contact in your phone with a sweet name and don’t forget to use emojis!
Give at Least a Six Second Kiss When Coming and Going
Jill didn’t feel a need to elaborate on this one.
Be Confident About Your Body
“Chances are, he is less concerned about the things you’re worried about him not liking than you are. He will be happier when you are confident about yourself. And if there are things you can change or do to be more confident about yourself, then maybe it’s worth doing, or setting a goal to eventually get there!”
Remember, Your Husband is Not Your Dad
You are teammates and he is your God-given protector. Keep this in mind and let it shape the way you relate.
Ask God to Give You Ideas of How You Can Surprise Your Husband or Do Things That Will Mean a Lot to Him.
No elaboration here, either. We guess it does speak for itself.
[UPDATE]: Did Jill Piss Off Jim Bob?
We’re not sure, but it looks as though the Duggar and Dillard families are no longer on speaking terms.
Yikes
In fact, the two families celebrated Thanksgiving separately, a fact that the Dillards proudly flaunted on Instagram.
It Gets Worse …
Not only that, it appears that Derick is planning to write a tell-all memoir about his life with the Duggars. You can be sure Jim Bob wasn’t too pleased to hear THAT announcement!
Serious Conflict
We’re not sure if any of this related to Jill’s recent risque sex tips, but it certainly seems that she’s not on good terms with her folks!