In the three weeks since ABC canceled her season of The Bachelorette, Taylor Frankie Paul has mostly kept her feelings to herself.
But the embattled reality star opened up like never before on Instagram over the weekend.
In a series of posts and Stories, Taylor bared her soul on Easter Sunday, revealing, among other things, that she is no longer a practicing Mormon.
Paul kicked things off with a video montage of selfies, Bible verses, and encouraging text messages she’d received from friends and family.
“The last 40 days felt like hell on earth. Through every panic attack I prayed for strength as I could feel my body breaking down and out from the distress of it all,” she captioned one post, adding:
“And HE sent just that in various ways along with so many undeniable signs saying ‘I am with you’ which I can’t wait to share that part.
“I’ve prayed since I was young and never strayed away because I believe he wants us to ask for help especially during our lowest points. However, instead of just asking I switched over to thanking him at the end of each day no matter how low I felt.
“He has risen and he is real. I got chills today when I realized it’s been 40 days exactly today in this frantic state,” she concluded.
Clearly, Taylor was in a spiritual mood.
But shortly thereafter, she shared in an Instagram Story that she had decided to “detach” from the Mormon Church.
“I’ll always have love and respect toward it,” she wrote in a lengthy message.
“I’ll even continue to go with my family at times. With that being said, it’s time to detach myself from it,” Paul continued, adding:
“I strongly believe in Christ, God, the Bible, the divine. I believe we are loved whether we are praying in the church building from a bathroom floor at home.”
She concluded, “I’ve also experienced grace and love from amazing people that aren’t sure what they believe at all and that’s okay. Point being there is more out there to learn.”
Taylor seems to be in a pretty good place at the moment.
But she also made it clear that that’s a very new state of affairs.
“I’ve never felt the pain I’m in now,” she wrote in one of the text messages from her montage.
“I cannot breathe. I’m sad, so sad and in so much PAIN. I can’t wait to help those in this.”
In a different message, she told the recipient that she was in the midst of a panic attack.
It makes sense that Taylor has been having a hard time lately. In addition to being fired by ABC, she’s reportedly being investigated for additional domestic violence complaints.
But at least she can take comfort in the fact that she has a strong support network and a whole army of fans cheering her on.