Sex education can come at many times in life, and from many sources.
For The L Word and Sex/Life actress Sarah Shahi, knowledge about her own body and about sex came later than average.
And for some of her fans, education will come in the form of the NSFW chapters of her book.
From one’s own pleasure to navigating a partner’s dong, it’s all in there. And writing it was healing for her.
Why write such a ‘spicy’ book in such a sex-negative time?
In her new book, Shahi is being more than blunt about sexual education.
She didn’t always intend to delve into this tragically polarizing topic.
Speaking to US Weekly about Life is Lifey, she revealed that starring in Sex/Life is what prompted her to take an interest in the topic.
Why? Because viewers did. Fans reached out to her.
Many of these fans were women — women who’d never experienced an orgasm in their lives.
“Personally, I was never promiscuous,” Shahi admitted.
(There is no shame in that! Zero partners, ten thousand partners, or anywhere in between, and you’re good so long as you’re doing whatever you like. Beyond 10k and you get to live forever in the fae realm, we think)
“I didn’t learn about anatomy until later on in my life,” she revealed.
“And men,” Shahi added. It sounds like she didn’t have a firm, adult grasp of her own body — let alone others — until a later-than-average time.
She continued: “And that was something that did feel very intimidating to me.”
‘Pleasure is a birthright’ (louder for the people in the back!)
“After Sex/ Life, it just kind of came back full circle to me,” Shahi characterized.
“This is human nature,” she emphasized.
Adding a line that we would proclaim from the rooftops, she expressed: “And pleasure is a birthright.”
And when it comes to heterosexual intercourse, she had a big takeaway for the role of women.
“We’re not here to simply service,” Shahi affirmed, “but we’re here to be serviced as well.” (Did you hear that, DJ Khaled?)
“There were so many aspects of women when it came to their physicality and their body and their desire that they had ignored for so long,” Shahi lamented.
Her sex tips went both ways — on how to experience pleasure as a cis woman but also how to please a partner.
“The chapters where I talk about orgasms and blowjobs was something I questioned,” she admitted.
Shah shared that she was hesitant at first “because I thought it would be looked upon poorly.”
However, she added: “But the minute I’m afraid to do something, that’s a signal to go ahead.”
She wrote this book ‘to heal’ herself
“I really hope that people have the courage to live their lives as truthfully as they can,” Shahi expressed. “That’s literally what I want.”
She reiterated: “I really want people to have the guts to live authentically and to not worry about what people think.”
Shahi got personal, sharing: “I wrote this book to heal myself. I never expected it to make the splash that it’s making.”
She continued: “But my point in writing it is, there was so much lightness that came from me finally doing me that I would love for other people to experience that same kind of feeling.”
It is wonderful that she had this experience of learning and growing into her sexuality. Better late than never!