On last week’s episode of 90 Day: The Single Life, Big Ed Brown mourned his beloved dog, Teddy.
To basically everyone’s surprise and no shortage of horror, that tragedy led to him reconciling with his ex, Liz Woods.
On the Tell All, Liz confirmed that they are still engaged, and got very defensive of the ill-advised relationship.
Castmates begged Liz to not marry Ed, while Liz and Ed shared secrets about their past breakups and the unhappiness of Ed’s family.
Last summer, Ed and Liz became engaged just a couple of days after reconciling.
Giddily, the two gushed at the Tell All about how in love they are, boasting that it "feels" like they’re already married.
The obvious concern on the faces of their castmates was just a taste of what was to come.
Ed could not stop raving about how comfortable he feels around Liz.
For reasons that we cannot fathom, he and Liz shared an anecdote on a truly unspeakable topic: flatulence.
It sounds like Stephanie Matto and Mike Berk have some competition. Ugh.
Shaun Robinson, who cannot possibly be paid enough for putting up with the world’s worst hellclowns, changed the topic.
She brought up how Ed and Liz were singing a very different tune on the Season 1 Tell All, when a tearful Liz called out Ed’s toxic behavior.
We remember well how Debbie read Ed the riot act and could see that she was clearly ready to repeat that this time.
While caressing Liz’s leg in a way that made viewers’ skins crawl, Ed recalled how he and Liz made nice.
Teddy’s death brought them together, and Liz’s dead drop flower delivery opened the door for them to talk again.
Apparently, another big change was that Ed was pushing people away if they didn’t support this relationship.
"His so-called ‘friends’ were using him," Liz insisted during the Tell All.
She cites this as part of the key to why they (allegedly) work better now as a couple than they did before.
But … what friends are these? What does she mean?
Apparently, those 8 times that Ed dumped her via text message were out of necessity … and he wasn’t the one doing the dumping.
Struggling to find the words, he would apparently pass his phone to a friend and ask this unnamed man to send the text for him.
The idea of having a ghostwriter for 8 breakup text messages with the same woman is categorically absurd, and everyone else knows it.
Various castmates cannot help but react to how absurd this is.
First, if Ed can’t bring himself to break up with Liz on his own, he shouldn’t have kept getting back with her.
Second, it’s absurd and frankly disappointing that Liz would give Ed yet another chance. What is this, chance number nine?
This is when Debbie Johnson, who very relatably is disgusted by Ed’s behavior, begged Liz to not marry him.
In her estimation, Ed is desperate for companionship.
"You don’t love anybody except yourself," Debbie very sharply describe dEd.
She pointed out that the only reason that Ed isn’t with one of the other women whom he dated is because they turned him down.
Stephanie described the engagement as almost a "bribe" to get Liz back with him in a desperate attempt to mend his image.
Unfortunately, Liz was not willing or ready to listen.
Liz insisted that Big Ed had changed in many ways, claiming that they "hardly ever" have arguments anymore.
Of course, one major factor was that Ed’s elderly mother has now moved out and is giving them "privacy."
Ed’s mom doesn’t support this engagement. Neither does Ed’s daughter, Tiffany, who burst into tears at the news.
Shaun shared that, regretfully, none of Ed’s family was willing to discuss this disastrous engagement on the Tell All.
Ed countered by claiming that he’s supported by some nieces and nephews who live far away from him.
Of course … if your only supporters are the people whom you see the least, that could be a bit of a red flag.
Stephanie very accurately described Ed’s transparent desperation, clearly seeing his pattern of manipulative behavior.
Of course, back stage, Stephanie spoke with Natalie Mordovtseva about Liz and Ed’s toxic relationship.
Liz got into a confrontation with them after hearing their concern. It’s worrisome to see someone this committed to a self-destructive engagement.