Covid numbers are spiking, the nation is more divided than ever before, and it looks like we may be headed for another lockdown.
So it makes sense that into these apocalyptic times would re-emerge the harbinger of despair himself, Donald John Trump.
Yes, it doesn’t look like Trump will be re-appointed as president any time soon, but he’s still managing to make headlines just by lashing out and being petty in the manner that somehow won him millions of cultishly devoted fans.
And Trump being the flawless physical specimen that he is, perhaps we shouldn’t be surprised that his latest targets are our nation’s Olympic athletes.
As you may have heard, the heavily-favored Us Women’s National Soccer team was forced to settle for a bronze medal this week, when they defeated Australia after being bounced out of the race for gold by Canada.
Obviously, just making it to the Olympics — let alone winning a medal of any color — is an impressive achievement for any athlete, and the US Women’s Team still has a great deal to be proud of.
But if there’s one thing that Trump hates, it’s a "loser."
We might feel the same if we had to look at one in the mirror every morning! Zing!
So DJT just couldn’t resist offering his two cents on the team’s unexpected loss, and the statement he emailed to his supporters serves as a strangely reassuring reminder that he’s still the same old Donnie.
“If our soccer team, headed by a radical group of Leftist Maniacs, wasn’t woke, they would have won the Gold Medal instead of the Bronze. Woke means you lose, everything that is woke goes bad, and our soccer team certainly has,” Trump wrote.
“There were, however, a few Patriots standing. Unfortunately, they need more than that respecting our Country and National Anthem. They should replace the wokesters with Patriots and start winning again,” he added.
From there Trumpo zeroed in on team captain Megan Rapinoe, a supporter of several progressive causes who has lit Trump’s tiny little fuse many times in the past.
“The woman with the purple hair played terribly and spends too much time thinking about Radical Left politics and not doing her job!" he wrote.
The remarks echo comments Trump made following the team’s loss to Sweden last month:
“Woke politics takes the life and joy out of everything. Woke-ism makes you lose, ruins your mind and ruins you as a person," he told the crowd at a convention for conservative voters.
"You become warped. You become demented."
Warped and demented? Is this guy having nightmares about being hauled off to Azkaban for treason?
Anyway, the trash talk comes as no surprise, especially when you remember that this is the same fella who called a racehorse a junkie a few months back.
Honestly, we can’t even blame the Donald for throwing one of his famous tantrums — the guy’s really got nothing else these days.
He’s been kicked off of Twitter, banned from Facebook, and he’s probably getting the cold shoulder from his homies in the Kremlin.
At this point, there’s nothing getting the guy out of bed other than his crappy email newsletter and the possibility of a three-Big Mac lunch with the MyPillow guy.
We’re sure that Megan — being an actual adult with a functioning frontal cortex — understands that the best thing to do in a case like this is to let the baby have his bottle.