Justin Bieber: Quarantine Rules! I'm Banging Hailey Baldwin Non-Stop!

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Well, if you're just awakening from a 3-week coma, we have good news and bad news:

The good news is that you're awake! The bad news is, society as you know it is crumbling amid a global pandemic.

Coronavirus

The situation is every bit as bad as it sounds, but if there's a silver lining, it's that we get to find out how our favorite celebs behave in the face of a crisis.

For the most part, their response has consisted of cheesy TikTok and Instagram videos in which they encourage their followers to stay home, seemingly ignorant to the fact that issuing that instruction while showing off your palatial mansion comes off as a bit tone deaf.

Some stars have made a difference, such as Kylie Jenner, who's working with the Surgeon General on a campaign to convince young people of the importance of social distancing.

But for the most part, they've been churning out this type of content:

Yes, newlyweds Justin Bieber and Hailey Baldwin are self-isolating together at his $5 million mansion in rural Ontario.

In their latest Instagram Live session, the couple stopped just short of saying that they've been boning non-stop, but we're guessing they only self-censored because their pastor was there.

Yeah, it's a pretty weird situation, and the Biebers are documenting every second of it for their followers.

"Look at these lovebugs," the good reverend awkwardly quipped at one point, as Justin and Hailey began eating each other's faces.

Justin Bieber and Hailey Baldwin, PDA for Calvin Klein

Go ahead and add "inviting your pastor over to watch you make out with your wife" to the long, long list of weird things that only celebrities can get away with.

"This is the love of my life. This is my whole existence. She’s my favorite," Justin told the camera, as though his actions didn't make that fact perfectly clear on their own.

From there, Hailey and the Biebs made it clear that they are very much not like you by explaining that Justin's property is so big it has its own system of roads.

"What do you want to do babe? Do you want to go for another ride around the property?" Justin asked Hailey.

Justin Bieber Kisses Hailey Baldwin at Night

"You wanna walk? You wanna go on a walk down to the water?" he continued.

Hailey nodded her head "yes," and the two of them headed off to go on a hike in which they won't encounter another soul, with the possible exception of his groundskeepers or security staff.

"Let’s do it. I love you," Justin said to his wife.

This has been your daily installment of Celebs In Quarantine: Still Annoying.

You can expect a lot of these in the weeks to come.

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Justin Bieber Biography

Justin Bieber is Overcome With Anxiety
Justin Bieber is a young, wildly popular singer. He dominated the music world in 2010, earning the most YouTube videos AND becoming the... More »
Born
Birthplace
Ontario, Canada
Full Name
Justin Bieber