Forget about the House of Representatives versus Donald Trump.
There's a war going on in this country that threatens to shake our notions of American democracy to their very foundation and tear families apart from coast to coast.
We're talking, of course, about Kim Kardashian versus Kylie Jenner.
As you may know, the sisters have been involved in an intense sibling rivalry for several years now.
If you ask most people, they'd probably tell you that Kim is the most famous member of her family.
We'll call that the popular vote.
But in the electoral college of social media, Kylie is on the verge of a landslide victory.
And Kim is reportedly colluding with bots to help tip the scales in her favor.
Yes, according to a new report from Radar Online, Kim is deeply concerned about the possibility that Kylie might soon surpass her as the Kard clan's social media queen.
Reports of Kim's growing jealousy date back to around the time that Kylie was named the world's youngest "self-made" billionaire.
(We'll never not use quotes there, as Kylie is self-made only in the most technical sense of the term.)
“Kim is really insecure that Kylie’s follower count is always rising," a source close to the situation tells Radar Online.
"She always wants to be on top; she’s really competitive."
The insider points out that on Instagram, Kim still has a slightly larger follower counter than Kylie (154 million vs. 153).
But that's not the only metric that matters.
In terms of engagement with individual posts, Kylie beats Kim just about every time -- and by a fairly wide margin.
“She gets three-to-four times more likes/comments than Kim,” the insider adds.
“It’s really killing Kim’s ego."
The source says that Kim has employed the services a marketing team that essentially just controls a bunch of bot accounts which help to artificially inflate their clients' following.
It's a common tactic, and using a middle man marketing firm allows the celeb in question to play dumb if they get busted.
Of course, Kim didn't get to where she is by doing all the same crap as other famous people.
No, she likes to take things one step further, which is why -- the insider claims -- she's also saving face via a tactic that very few public figures could get away with.
"That’s why Kim is going on a media tour right now; she’s trying to encourage Instagram to remove the like count so she doesn’t look less popular than Kylie," the source says.
Yes, according to the tipster, Kim is at risk of losing, so she's working behind the scenes to make the entire game disappear.
That would be like if your team was losing the Super Bowl, so you got elected president and outlawed football.
It sounds outrageous, but Kim's recent comments on the subject confirm that she's opposed to public engagement numbers.
“As far as mental health, I mean it’s something that taking [Instagram] ‘likes’ away and taking that aspect away from it would be really beneficial for people,” she recently told the New York Times.
To be fair, it's entirely possible that Kim's primary concern in all this is the mental health of young people.
Either way, we hope that if Instagram decides to make engagement information private, Kim will call Kylie and either cackle like a Bond villain or menacingly utter, "I win," a la Walter White.