As the eighth person in line for the British throne, very little is expected of Prince Andrew.
In fact, "don’t get involved in an international sex trafficking ring" is pretty much the beginning and end of his royal duties.
But not only has Andrew (allegedly) failed to fulfill that obligation, he’s now making matters worse by defending himself in appallingly clumsy fashion.
Back in August, business tycoon and infamous sexual predator Jeffrey Epstein was found dead inside his prison cell at the Metropolitan Correctional Center in New York.
The death was ruled a suicide, but unless you’ve figured out a way to move through the world without ever laying eyes on a meme, then you’re probably familiar with the popular theory that Epstein didn’t kill himself.
It might seem absurd that such a high-profile inmate could be murdered inside a maximum security facility, but it’s not much more outlandish than the idea that he was left unattended just weeks after an earlier suicide attempt, and the security camera monitoring his cell conveniently malfunctioned at the time of his hanging.
And the situation becomes even more intriguing when you consider Epstein’s long list of wealthy powerful associates – a group that includes Bill Clinton, Donald Trump, and – you guessed it – Prince Andrew.
Back in 2015, Andrew was accused of having sex with a 17-year-old girl named Virginia Roberts, whom he allegedly met through Esptein’s network of underage sex slaves.
Andrew has denied the claims, but those charges have resurfaced in the wake of Epstein’s mysterious death.
Apparently eschewing the advice of his PR team, Andrew decided this week to grant an interview to the BBC in an effort to clear his name.
To say it didn’t go well would be the understatement of the millennium.
Craig Oliver, the former communications chief for ex-prime minister David Cameron said, “It will go down as one of the worst PR decisions ever — proof you really can make things a lot worse when you try to explain yourself.”
That might sound like an exaggeration, but seriously – check out these responses:
On why he invited Epstein to his daughter’s birthday party after he had been arrested for sexual arrest:
"Because I was asking Ghislaine [Maxwell, Epstein’s girlfriend and a friend of the prince]."
"But even so, at the time I don’t think I … certainly I wasn’t aware when the invitation was issued what was going on in the United States and I wasn’t aware until the media picked up on it because he never said anything about it."
On why he stayed at Epstein’s house in New York AFTER Epstein was imprisoned a first time:
"Right, I have always … ever since this has happened and since this has become, as it were, public knowledge that I was there, I’ve questioned myself as to why did I go and what was I doing and was it the right thing to do?
Now, I went there with the sole purpose of saying to him that because he had been convicted, it was inappropriate for us to be seen together.
"I felt that doing it over the telephone was the chicken’s way of doing it. I had to go and see him and talk to him."
On claims he was the guest of honor at Epstein’s release party:
"No, I didn’t go. Oh, in 2010, there certainly wasn’t a party to celebrate his release in December because it was a small dinner party, there were only eight or 10 of us I think at the dinner."
"If there was a party then I’d know nothing about that."
On Roberts’ claim that he was "sweaty" during their sexual encounter:
“I have a peculiar medical condition which is that I don’t sweat or I didn’t sweat at the time,”
Yes, a member of the royal family really went on TV and claimed that he can’t be a statutory rapist because he’s incapable of sweating.
Like we said, Andrew’s interview really couldn’t have been much more of a disaster.
And things might soon get even worse for Queen Elizabeth’s second son thanks to a new claim that Andrew used the n-word while berating a royal staffer in 2010.
Insiders say Andrew still enjoys the support of his loved ones, but that might not be the case much longer.
After all, the scandal comes at a time in which many Brits view the royal family as an outmoded and needlessly expensive institution, and its continued survival might necessitate cutting ties with creepy Uncle Andrew.