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Sometimes, when two adults are involved in a petty conflict, you might hear someone remark that the situation is “just like high school.”

Sadly, at a certain point you realize that for many people, life is like high school, and grades 9-12 were just their first exposure to all that back-biting and social manipulation.

Take for example, the cast of Vanderpump Rules.

Are they friends? Enemies? Some combination of the two?

(It’s our New Year’s revolution to stop saying “frenemies,” and we’re trying to get an early jump on it!)

It can be impossible from one year to the next to keep track of who wants to have a sleep-over and who would happily f–k up a brand new mani clawing a b-tch’s eyes out.

Stassi Schroeder at the 2019 MTV Movie and TV Awards

A new season of Vanderpump is like a new NFL season — everyone starts with the same record, but the winners will quickly distance themselves from the losers.

And in both cases, our predictions are based on little aside from vague preseason intel — but based on what we’re hearing out of WeHo this season, it seems Kristen Doute is fully on the outs with her formerly-tight chick clique.

In fact, it sounds like Stassi Schroeder has regained control of the group, and her first order of business was casting Kristen into exile.

Sure, Stassi is engaged to Beau Clark these days, and she’s put most of her bonkers dramatic tendencies behind her.

The Hollywood Gossip

But she’s still willing to throw down and bash a former friend like it’s her job, because … well, it sort of is.

The first hint of a feud between Stassi and Kristen came back in August, when Stassi hinted that the two are no longer on speaking terms during an episode of her podcast.

“The drama is killing me. I can’t anymore. I can’t talk about this s–t anymore,” she said while talking about the fractured friendship with Clark.

“I’m literally dead inside.”

The Hollywood Gossip

Not long after those comments were made, Kristen was conspicuously absent from Stassi and Beau’s engagement party.

Believe it or not, it sounds like things have only gotten worse in the months since.

Except now, instead of bemoaning the loss of her friendship, Stassi is sticking to her guns and congratulating herself for removing a toxic presence from her life.

“If taking a break from someone is a b-tch move and makes me nasty, then I don’t give a f–k,” Stassi said on her podcast this week.

Kristen Doute in Utah

“It doesn’t mean I don’t care about her. I absolutely do. Sometimes you just can’t be in the same room with someone without wanting to kill them.” 

Schroeder said the feud will play out on the upcoming season of Vanderpump (Ed. note: Squeeee!) and added that she’s fully “prepared to look like the a–hole.”

“Listen, I have to take care of my own mental and emotional health first,” Schroeder added.

Entering its ninth season, Vanderpump has definitely reached the point at which most reality shows begin to show signs of age.

But it’s a testament to the cast’s enduring pettiness that we couldn’t be more excited to see what this season holds in store.