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Back in May, Meghan Markle welcomed her first child.

But because she lives in a civilized nation where you can stop off for some bangers and mash without fear of some dodgy wanker blowing your bonce off, Meghan was able to take a full four months of maternity leave.

Greetings, Everyone

She probably could’ve taken even longer if she had wanted, but the temptation to burst through the double doors of her office and strike fear into the hearts of her staff by declaring, "The Duchess is back!" was probably too powerful to resist.

We kid, of course.

The real reason that Meg came back is that she famously loves her work.

Obviously, her philanthropic efforts are her main professional focus these days, and she’s found a way to incorporate her skills as an artist and businesswomen into her calling as a humanitarian.

About Time, Right?

And so, Meghan is set to launch two exciting projects in as many weeks.

The first is that is a travel initiative called Travalyst that Meghan is launching in cooperation with Prince Harry.

The project is designed to help shift the travel industry toward more environmentally-friendly practices.

It was likely inspired by the recent controversy over Meghan and Harry’s decision to take a private jet to Elton John’s estate in the South of France.

Baby Sussex
(Dominic Lipinski/WPA-Pool/MEGA )

But hey, regardless of what prompted the move, at least it’s happening.

The second project that’s got Meg’s attention these days is a line of workwear for women that will benefit her Smart Works patronage, which aims to find jobs for women who are struggling financially.

All pretty great stuff.

Hard to imagine that anyone could find any fault with Meg this week, right?

At a Parade

Ha! We kid — the British tabloid press is a well-oiled controversy-generating machine, and they’ve kept their Meg-hating streak going this week by claiming that the Duchess of Sussex snubbed the Queen by not visiting Balmoral as planned last weekend.

“Harry and Meghan had no plans to go to Balmoral this summer as they felt Archie was too young," a source close to the situation tells The Sun.

"It’s a bit odd, as his age didn’t stop them taking him to Ibiza for a week and then to see Elton John in France," the insider adds.

"If they want privacy or protection — which was Harry’s excuse for taking private jets — there is no more protected or private holiday destination than the Queen’s Scottish home."

Laughing with the Prince

The insider goes on to perpetuate the notion that Meghan is too much of a woke hippie to hang witht the rough-and-tumble Royals:

"It’s all very hunting, shooting, fishing up at Balmoral, so maybe that put Meghan off," says the source.

"She has never been to Balmoral and the Queen was disappointed they’re not going.”

Yes, we’re sure Meg was kept away by the pheasant hunting, and not the fact that she has a 4-month-old baby at home and 18 business ventures in the works.

This has been your daily edition of Meghan Markle Literally Can Do Nothing Right In the Eyes of the British Tabloid Press.