Lindsay Lohan's Beach Club Recap: It Just Keeps Getting Worse!

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When it was first announced that a Lindsay Lohan reality show was coming to MTV, promotional materials compared the project to the Bravo hit Vanderpump Rules.

This was a disappointing development for a number of reasons.

Lindsay as a Boss

For starters, Vanderpump Rules is still going strong, and most of its cast members are younger than Lindsay.

So the idea that Lisa would be filling the role of the much older and much more respected Lisa Vanderpump was off-putting from the start.

On top of that, we were hoping that a Lindsay reality show would have more in common with Cops or Jerry Springer.

Lindsay on the Beach

The decision to focus on success-flaunting Lindsay in full "boss bitch" mode (her words, obviously) seemed to demonstrate a fundamental misunderstanding of what might have made a Lohan reality show work.

Yes, she was one of the biggest stars of the early 2000s, but it wasn't because we all admired her business acumen, ya know?

And it's not like Lindsay is enough of a hardass as a boss to be entertaining.

LiLo's Beach Club Staff

She's been threatening to fire one of her VIP hosts since the first episode and she finally got around to it last night -- on episode 6!

The ax finally fell when Lindsay got frustrated over her staff partying when they were supposed to be recruiting new clientele/

"Guess what? We don't get to be tired," an irate Lohan told May. "That's not gonna help"

Lindsay Lohan's Beach Club Cast

The second shoe fell the next day when May and Jules abandoned their cabana (cabandonment, as we like to call it) to go recruit new clients.

Their hearts were in the right place, but they were absent when their actual paying customers showed up.

Even so, Lindsay probably would have let the infraction slide, were it not for Panos' influence.

Lindsay Lohan Blows a Kiss - Selfie

"They're pissing me off at the moment," he told her.

"We need to get rid of one person right now."

Lindsay complained that she's "just not good at firing somebody," but eventually, she went through with it and gave May the boot ... or did she?

LiLo at the Beach

As many viewers pointed out, the two trailers that aired after the episode both featured May -- and Jules was strangely absent.

Regardless of what's to come, it seems we're not the only ones who are frustrated with Lindsay's management style -- or lack thereof.

"Lindsay runs up yelling at people and it's super awkward and I'm just really confused about what we're supposed to be doing in order to get rewarded around here," complained newcomer Kailah.

We'd say we're looking forward to it, but really -- who's still invested in this show at all?

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Lindsay Lohan Biography

Lindsay Lohan is a troubled actress that hasn't starred in a mainstream movie in years. The star has been arrested for drug possession... More »
New York City
Full Name
Lindsay Dee Lohan

Lindsay Lohan Quotes

Tell him he's f*cking amazing, and I want to meet him.

Lindsay Lohan [on Michael Phelps]

I just want to live a happy, healthy year and continue on the path I've been on and be with the person I care about and my family.

Lindsay Lohan