They… are… back!
Well, they were back.
But. technicality aside, the cast of Jersey Shore: Family Vacation returned to Seaside Heights on Thursday night’s new episode of this MTV revival, hunkering back down in their former quarters and, well…
… getting very drunk!
After the group took numerous shots to celebrate their reunion in the Garden State, Snooki spotted a note from Danny. It read:
"Got you some drinks and food. Have a good time. Please don’t trash the house."
LOL, right? Did he forget to whom he was writing?!?
While getting a family dinner ready, a rather pregnant Deena asked Snooki to make her her "famous grilled cheese."
No problem. Easy enough.
From there, The Situation insisted on making his favorite Funfetti cake and all seemed perfectly calm when the clique sound down to dine together.
But then Angelina asked if she could make a speech, Vinny jokingly turned her down, a bit of banter ensued — and then things got ugly.
Pivarnick seemingly referred either to her time as a high school classmate’s or Vinny, or to the time the two smushed, when she told the table that she had a "loaded gun" in her "chamber."
What kind of dirt was she implying she had on her housemate?
"Well, I don’t have a chamber on you because I don’t think about you ever," Vinny replied.
"Don’t lie! You think about me day, f-cking afternoon and night," Angelina clapped back
"These two got beef right here," said The Situation, while Snooki chimed in as follows:
"I am praying that Angelina and Vinny hook up. There is so much sexual tension."
And this is when Angelina let her bomb drop, screaming at Vinny:
"You know you used to hit me up back in the day and f-cking try to f-ck me! And say you wanted to take me out on a date and f-cking get to know me!"
Oh. That was it?
Yes. But it was enough to cause everyone to lose it.
"This is why I hate having this girl here," Vinny said.
"If you don’t like me, my question to you is, why’d you bang me then? Even if it was a hate bang, you wouldn’t hate bang a girl you didn’t think was attractive," she hilariously responded.
Is this how folks flirt in Staten Island, Paul D wondered?
Angelina eventually shot up from the table and started chasing Vinny around the house because he called her a "f-ck."
The argument only escalated when Sitch handed her a ketchup bottle as ammunition and Jenni gave Vin bottles of salad dressing and mustard.
Oh, yes: FOOD FIGHT!
Both Angelina and Vinny ended up covered in condiments when the latter reached for the fire extinguisher. He positively blasted Angelina with it.
"Yo, Danny is not gonna be happy about this," Mike said amid the obviously planned chaos.
"No!" Snooki yelled back. "We’re like older now! We’re like 30!"
After an awkward exchange with Danny the following day at the T-shirt store, the group got back to the Shore House and Sitch ate his beloved ake.
However, for some werd reason, Angelina dared herself to stick her bare butt in the delicacy. And then she did just that and then she chased the guys around the house.
And that was basically that.
The writers really need to work on some actual storylines, don’t they?