Steve Bannon Steps Down From Breitbart to Spend More Time With Bottle of Gin

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Throughout Donald Trump's unexpected ascendancy from walking punchline to walking punchline with nuke codes, political strategist and oily sack of potatoes discovered in the back of the cupboard on moving day Steve Bannon was one of the president's most trusted and influential advisers.

Of course, Trump aides have proven to have roughly the same shelf life as Defense Against the Dark Arts teachers at Hogwarts, so it came as no surprise when Bannon was booted from the White House back in August.

Steve Bannon Sucks

What followed, however, was the kind of unexpectedly abrupt downfall befitting a man who once favorably compared himself to Darth Vader and Satan.

Bannon delivered that quote to The Hollywood Reporter's Michael Wolff, who's made headlines this week thanks to the controversial new book Fire and Fury, which details his experiences inside the Trump White House.

In the most widely-circulated passage, Wolff reveals that Bannon described a 2016 meeting between Donald Trump Jr., Paul Manafort and group of influential Russians as "treasonous."

Bannon later attempted to walk back his remark, claiming that he only meant to label disgraced campaign manager Manafort as a traitor, not the president's son.

However, the damage had been done, and Bannon soon found himself atop the Donald's ever-lengthening sh-t list.

Steve Bannon Snapshot

Of course, falling out of favor with the human throbbing forehead vein that occupies the White House means that Bannon has also lost the support of his army of alt-right trolls, and the race to cut ties with the man once dubbed the most powerful figure in American politics began in earnest this week.

Yesterday, Bannon was unceremoniously axed from his position as head of far-right media outlet Breitbart News.

"Breitbart News has decided to end its relationship with Stephen K. Bannon, therefore he will no longer host on SiriusXM since our programming agreement is with Breitbart News," reads a statement posted on the company's flagship website.

Bannon attempted to downplay the termination and paint it as a mutual decision, but there's no denying that it's a shocking fall from grace for a man whose outsized influence once earned him the nickname "President Bannon" just a few short months ago.

"I'm proud of what the Breitbart team has accomplished in so short a period of time," Bannon said in response to his dismissal.

Steve Bannon and Donald Trump

The move came as a surprise even to many within Breitbart, who reportedly learned of Bannon's departure in the company's Slack chat.

As recently as last month, the company was still publicly praising Bannon's influence on modern conservatism and crediting him with helping to shape the 2016 presidential election as host of his own satellite radio show.

"As I have said all along, everything I brought to the Trump campaign came directly from the listeners I spoke with every morning on Breitbart News Daily on SiriusXM's Patriot channel," Bannon said at the time.

A spokesperson for Breitbart has confirmed that Bannon will no longer serve as host of the outlet's popular call-in show.

No replacement has been announced, but at press time, the racist blowhard who's always drinking alone at your local dive bar was still available for the position.

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