You either get sent home the hero or stay on camera long enough to become the Bachelor villain, we guess.
Or, if you're Dean Unglert, you apparently do both.
Now Danielle Lombard is sharing exactly what she thinks of their time together, of Dean himself, and of being on Bachelor in Paradise.
No, she doesn't comment on Justin Bieber creeping on her photos.
"Dean is the kind of person who changes his mind every couple of days, maybe even every couple of hours."
After the way that he darted back and forth between her and Kristina Schulman, we can see why she would feel that way.
"He doesn’t really know what he wants."
And, of course, Dean proclaimed his love for Kristina.
"When I heard that I was just like, ‘You know what? You still have a lot of stuff to figure out.’"
Danielle's a wise girl.
"We had talked about doing things in the future together and had made plans to hang out, so it was surprising he had changed his mind."
She had a lot more to say to Us, though. About Dean anda bout her overall experience.
"The way the producers made it seem like there was greater opportunity to meet someone that you could have a relationship with outside of the show. I was honestly hesitant to do Paradise because of the stigma it has of it being like spring break and everyone is hooking up."
Yeah, that's kind of the show.
"But everyone I talked to that did the show, whether they had a great edit or not, said it was an incredible experience."
She went on and initially was considering someone else entirely.
"It wasn’t like Dean was my only option and I was only pursuing him. Ben Z and I actually had a very nice time together. I knew him before the show because he’s one of Jasmine’s good friends. In Paradise, I was trying to see if we had a connection. I think he’s a great person, but I just didn’t feel the chemistry with him. It’s funny because they just don’t show that!"
Well, editing is what they use to tell stories.
Plus, there's only so much time in a season.
Danielle really set out to avoid love triangle shenanigans. Alas.
"When I sat down and talked to the girls, I wanted them to tell me who they liked. I wanted them to speak up the way Jasmine did to Christen [Whitney] like, 'No, I really like this guy. Don’t go after him or I’ll kill you.' Whether we’re friends or not, if someone says that to me I would go find someone else."
Well, yeah, especially if they're including a death threat.
"When I talked to Dean, he told me he and Kristina did hang out during the break but that he wanted to pump the brakes. He wanted to date other people and had encouraged her to do the same thing. And when I talked to Kristina, she said that they weren’t in a relationship either. I figured I would spend time with him and if there wasn’t a connection, at least I would know and I could try and pursue another relationship."
Danielle talks about how she and Dean bonded.
"We’re both very light-hearted people. I think that was one of the main differences between my relationship with him versus Kristina’s. He was just someone that I felt super comfortable with. We laugh all the time and we’re very smiley people."
They casual ease to their relationship came across as "shallow" for some viewers.
"I just felt like we had this light-hearted connection where we just wanted to have fun. We didn’t want to put pressure on ourselves with the thought of getting engaged at the end of this. We just wanted to get to know each other in a more relaxed setting."
But that wasn't to be.
"I knew the situation between me, Kristina, and him caused a lot of stress. I think in the back of my mind I knew it was a possibility that he would want to leave separately. It was still hard for me to hear, though. I was like, 'If he’s having doubts, I don’t want to get involved with someone like that. I rather he tell me now so we can move on separately.' But that’s not what happened afterwards."
Yeah, "doubts" isn't quite the word for that level of indecisiveness.
Afterwards, when Dean called her up, she really let him have it.
"I gave it to him straight. I said, 'You don’t know what you want. You made a complete fool of me on national television. You literally told me you loved someone else and now you’re calling me saying you want to hang out. I just don’t understand your thought process.'"
Dean wasn't prepared to take all of the blame.
"He told me that he was encouraged to say those things. I just think it was his way of saving face at the end of Paradise. He came over to my hotel room and we talked some more. As soon as we got back to L.A., we hung out with each other and started this off camera relationship that I thought was going in the right direction. "
"I’m definitely frustrated with [Dean]. I think he’s been very dismissive of our relationship and continues to allude that he only pursued me because of my looks."
Danielle has shot down that idea a lot on Instagram.
"I’ve never been in a position or a relationship where I’ve felt so disrespected by someone. It’s frustrating because he told me he would have my back and stand up for me but at the end of the day, he just saves himself instead of being honest about things."
Dean may have blown his relationship and ruined his chance at being the Bachelor unless he has a really powerful redemption arc.
"It’s a lesson learned moving forward. I don’t hate him but I am disappointed."
You know what? A lot of us feel that way about Dean right now.