When you gotta go, you gotta go.
So the maxim says in regard to relieving one's bladder.
For Desiree Anderson and Robert Beasley, however, a similar, albeit very different saying also applies:
When you gotta go at it, you gotta go at it!
Hard. And in full view of little children.
The married 28-year olds were captured on camera over the weekend having sexual intercourse at the Wisconsin State Fair.
Robert evidently mounted his wife and was observed doing her in the customary missionary style.
They were on the bleachers and Desiree's hands were up over her head at one point.
We know this because someone actually filmed the raunchy action... and Robert waved at the witness while he ogled inappropriate boning with his cellphone.
We're serious. See for yourself:
Anderson and Beasley were taken into custody on Monday and the case has been referred to the Milwaukee County District Attorney’s Office for potential criminal charges.
The footage was uploaded to Facebook, but it has since been removed. A Wisconsin State Fair spokeswoman told FOX6 that the incident was under investigation.
"We're here for a horse show or a dog show - not to make babies," a visitor named Morgan Hakenson said, making an inarguable point.
The aforementioned spokeswoman referred to the video (and the act depicted in it, we presume) as "appalling viral video" and added that "this incident is inexcusable."
It's also kind of hilarious, isn't it?
Added another Fair attendee named Dawn Major, who had to be notified that she was sitting in the same spot with her son where the banging took place:
"I wouldn't think you'd see something like that here. This is for families - not that! There's a place for that. Go home!"
"Honestly man, I can't believe they would do that here, but I guess that was their decision," Sean Loehr told the local Fox affiliate.
Apparently unaware that plenty of celebrities have also had sex in public, some witnesses were aghast at such a sight.
Other critics, meanwhile, think the person who filmed the very amateur porn should have put his or her phone down and done something aside from document the plowing.
"Stopped it? Probably. Told the State Fair Police maybe. It's extremely inappropriate," said state native Morgan Hakenson.
We guess. We mean, we can totally see this person's point.
At the same time, with the Packers not even playing preseason games yet, wasn't this the most exciting thing to happen in the area since the team lost in the playoffs last year?