It's no secret that Britney Spears, whose art brings joy to us all and whose mere existence makes the world a better place, has had her ups and downs. But it's clear that the biggest low points in her life are in the past.
These days, she's a first-rate mom who still has a thriving music career and also sometimes quotes Nietzsche on Instagram. She also has a super hot boyfriend.
And now we're hearing that she could be writing a tell-all book ... one that spill exactly what she thinks of some other celebrities she's known.
Obviously, the news that Britney Spears is writing a tell-all book is really exciting if it's true.
But hearing that she might be throwing a surprising amount of shade at other celebrities sounds like a godsend.
"She’s always kept journals, and Britney’s decided to write a tell-all book."
Who wouldn't love to read those if Britney decides to share just the journals themselves, you know?
"She’s tired of hearing all these half-truths about her and wants to set the record straight about who she really is."
We're here for that, sure.
And, according to this report, Britney Spears will be speaking about specific stars and sharing her exact thoughts about them.
Apparently, among those named will be Christina Aguilera, Katy Perry, and Taylor Swift.
"By the end of the book, everyone will know exactly how Britney feels about them."
That sounds ominous, right?
Not for Britney or for the readers, but ... for someone.
"This book is going to surprise a lot of people."
That's the thing, though -- this would be surprising.
Not just because this news isn't coming from Britney or her team themselves.
(Though you'd think that they'd want to float that directly, right?)
But also because Britney's life is going so well.
Drama follows her because she's famous, but Britney's never really been one to seek it out.
Even in her wildest partying days -- remember those? -- Britney didn't have anything like the kinds of feuding that we see with other celebrities.
And now that everything's so perfect in her life, it's hard to imagine that she's stirring the pot, you know?
On the one hand, sure, she's untouchable because she's Britney Freaking Spears.
So she can do what she wants without taking issue with whatever, like, Katy Perry tweets about her or whatever.
But ... why would she want to?
What would she have to gain?
Lately, Taylor Swift -- who finds balance by being virtually synonymous with squads and with feuds -- has been pretty quiet and reserved.
We're sure that she has new music coming and that she'll have a lot to say with it.
But at the moment, she's backing off from fights and appearances because things got too heated and she knows how damaging overexposure can be.
Just last week, Taylor broke two months of silence on Instagram to congratulate Selena Gomez on her new song.
(That song is "Fetish" and it's great, you guys)
Britney might not be a hardcore Slytherin like Taylor Swift (that's not an insult), but she's been at this game a long time.
(Even though Britney Spears is ageless so it's difficult to forget)
If Taylor, who's still young and relatively new to the world of pop stardom, is wise enough to know when to hold her tongue ...
... It's that much harder to picture Britney opening a big ol' can of worms.
If she really is writing a book, we eagerly look forward to reading its every detail.
And, of course, sharing those details with you.
But we guess that we'll hold out until she announces it herself.