Would it kill Farrah Abraham to be calm and reasonable, or even to just make sense once in her whole damn life?
We can only assume it would.
Farrah must have some sort of condition in which it would literally kill her if she was an OK person, even just once. That's the only logical explanation for the way she is.
So let's keep that in mind when going over this new interview Farrah did with Radar.
Every time she opens her big, dumb mouth, she's just trying to survive.
It won't make hearing this stupidity any easier, but hey, it might help you keep a little hope alive.
In the interview, Farrah revealed that -- surprise! -- she's still not getting along with her Teen Mom OG costars.
"I have a better life without them in my life," she said, and we have to imagine that they feel the same.
"I hope they channel how to find their happy place in life," she went on. "I wish that for them all."
"I don't like to see other people struggle or being negative."
... Farrah is completely unaware of everything that happens in her life, right? She can't possibly have any real understanding of what's going on in the world.
If she did, then she'd realize that she herself is the most negative person, probably ever.
After all, positive, happy people don't behave like Farrah does. But still, she continues to be delusional.
"Even though I'm much separate and apart from them," she said, "they keep including themselves and talking about me."
We'll let that nonsense slide, because next, Farrah talked about the big ol' brawl that happened at the Teen Mom OG reunion special. You know the one.
Farrah was filming her segment with Dr. Drew and Simon Saran when she remarked that Amber Portwood's boyfriend, Matt Baier, "looks like a pedophile," and Amber stormed onstage to take Farrah down.
Amber threw a punch at Farrah but missed, and when Matt came on to help Amber whoop some Abraham ass, he and Farrah's dad got into a fight of their own.
But, as Farrah says, we might not have the full picture just yet of what happened in that fight.
"There was a bunch of hype about the reunion," she said. "I hope this finale shows the reality behind the scenes so you could get a clear picture of what's really going on."
Farrah even discussed the Teen Mom cruise, the one where Maci Bookout, Amber Portwood, and Kailyn Lowry will go on a ship with fans and make memories -- the one Farrah was explicitly not invited on.
"I'm laughing at how the extra Teen Moms have to try to insult me and promote the whack cruise they're trying to sell," she said.
"Unlike them I don't need to share with other girls to get a company to give me a free cruise and make others pay for it."
Whatever you say, girl.
Hope that imaginary world you created in your own mind is more fun that it sounds.