Donald Trump has finally done it.
He has finally issued a true, lengthy apology for something.
Mostly, that is.
Immediately after apologizing, he went ahead and dismissed the issue for which he was apologizing. Let's take a look, shall we?
Trump released the above video on Friday night, hours after another video threatened to legitimately sink his campaign once and for all.
It was posted online by The Washington Post and it was filmed in 2005.
In this video, Trump is riding an Access Hollywood bus with then-anchor Billy Bush, on the way to the set of Days of Our Lives.
Unaware his microphone was on and that he was being taped at the time, Trump bragged about how he recently tried to sleep with a married woman (later identified by the press as Nancy O'Dell).
"I moved on her very heavily," Trump tells Bush of O'Dell, explaining in gross detail:
"In fact, I took her out furniture shopping. She wanted to get some furniture. I said, ‘I’ll show you where they have some nice furniture.'
"I moved on her like a bitch, but I couldn’t get there. And she was married. Then all of a sudden I see her, she’s now got the big phony t–s and everything. She’s totally changed her look."
That wasn't all Trump said, however.
At any point, he says he he can just "grab [women] by the pussy. You can do anything," adding that he'll have to pop some Tic-Tacs before speaking to soap opera actresses in case he simply starts kissing them.
"I don’t even wait," he tells Bush, presumably implying that he doesn't wait for permission to kiss these women and saying: "When you’re a star, they let you do it. You can do anything.”
Soon after the tape went public, Trump said the following:
"This was locker room banter, a private conversation that took place many years ago. Bill Clinton has said far worse to me on the golf course - not even close. I apologize if anyone was offended."
Perhaps realizing (after receiving even more backlash) that this was the lamest non-apology apology ever, Trump tried again in the video above.
"I never said I’m a perfect person nor pretended to be someone that I’m not,” he begins in it. “I’ve said and done things I regret and the words released today on the more than decade-old video are one of them.
"Anyone who knows me knows these words don’t reflect who I am. I said it, I was wrong and I apologize."
For Donald Trump, this is a pretty giant Mea Culpa.
But then he says that his words and actions in the scandalous footage aren't actually a big deal.
"This is nothing more than a distraction from the important issues we’re facing today,” he says, going on to compare himself to his opponent and her husband:
“Hillary Clinton and her kind have run our country into the ground. I’ve said some foolish things, but there’s a big difference between the words and actions of other people.
"Bill Clinton has actually abused women and Hillary has bullied, attacked, shamed and intimidated his victims. We will discuss this more in the coming days.
Trump also urged voters to keep their focus on the “important issues we are facing today.”
"I pledge to be a better man tomorrow, and will never, ever let you down. See you at the debate on Sunday."
(NOTE: Yes, Trump somehow said he'll be a better man... and that voters should focus on important, nationwide issues... while also saying he'll bring up Bill Clinton's affairs often in the next few days.)
Bush, meanwhile, issued his own apology on Friday. It reads:
"Obviously I’m embarrassed and ashamed. It’s no excuse, but this happened eleven years ago - I was younger, less mature, and acted foolishly in playing along. I’m very sorry."
You can go ahead and watch the tape from 2005 below.
You can decide whether Trump is the sort of man you want holding the most powerful and respected office in the world.
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