Dancing with the Stars Recap: Keep Your Lochte Locked Down

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Dancing with the Stars' second episode of the 23rd season is in the books, and for some couples, there are already reasons for concern.

Ryan Lochte Foxtrots

Tension was high and security on high alert as Dancing with the Stars Season 23 Episode 2 got underway on the ABC Television Network.

The scores and votes from this episode would be combined with last week to determine who will be the first couple to go home next week.

Make sense?

Fortunately, any protests were limited to the scoring, as Ryan Lochte performed without incident and Laurie Hernandez just dominated.

The gymnast revealed in a pre-performance video that she had two dreams in life, to be in Olympics and to be on Dancing With the Stars.

Yes, really.

Laurie Hernandez Photo

The teenager fulfilled that dream by performing a jive to the theme song from Duck Tales (Woo-oo!) even though she'd never seen it.

Thirty-somethings everywhere are feeling so over the hill right now. In any case, with Val as Scrooge McDuck, they scored 32 points.

Good for first place, BTW.

One point behind were Terra Jole and Sasha Farber, with a quickstep to Bewitched that Julianne Hough said was made for the reality star.

Bruno Tonioli said it was the most "complete and rounded quickstep" they had seen, so it's hard to do much better than that for praise.

In third place were Kenny "Babyface" Edmonds and Allison Holker, with an Argentine tango set to the X-Files theme song. Very creative!

On the other end of the spectrum?

Rick Perry. He just cannot dance.

Fortunately for the former Texas Governor, he's aware of this and in on the joke as far as what a joke it is that he's even out there.

Unfortunately ... 22 points.

That would be dead last, but with four other couples tied at 24, perhaps he has a chance to out-poll one of them and stick around?

If only for a week or two?

At 24 were Maureen McCormick and Artem Chigvintsev, Amber Rose and Maksim Chmerkovskiy and Jake T. Austin and Jenna Johnson.

Joining them was last week's man of the protesting hour, Ryan Lochte, and his partner Cheryl Burke, who got through it without incident.

That's the good news. The bad news? That it simply wasn't good from a technical standpoint, at all, and the scoreboard doesn't lie.

With the top and bottom tiers clearly established, we have everyone else pretty much bunched up in the middle trying to stay competitive.

Will James Hinchcliffe and Sharna Burgess, Jana Kramer and Gleb Savchenko, or Vanilla Ice and Witney Carson be able to step it up?

Will Megatron himself, Calvin Johnson and Lindsay Arnold, take it to the next level? Or will Marilu Henner and Derek Hough make a run?

When you watch Dancing with the Stars online, you'll see that they gave performances that were decent but not particularly memorable.

Good enough to survive on next week's results show? Most likely. But unlikely to take them to the finals without some real improvement.

Who's your pick this year?!

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Dancing with the Stars Quotes

We should have started dancing with one arm waaay before.

Cristian de la Fuente [following his injury, trip to the hospital and subsequent stellar performance]

I am not the best dancer, and I have not been the best dancer from the beginning. I am happy we made it this far.

Cristian de la Fuente