Earlier this week, we told you about how Lindsay Lohan really wanted everyone to care that she turned 30.
Sadly, as with most things the actress has been involved with in the 12 years since Mean Girls, the world responded with an apathetic shrug.
For most people, that simply meant they didn't click on any of Lindsay's endless birthday selfies (including one in which she hilariously wrote a caption about how awesome she is from Jimmy Fallon's perspective) or share her self-created #LiLoIs30 hashtag.
For certain corporations, however, it meant they got to enjoy the orgasmically satisfying experience of giving the middle finger to Lindsay's PR minions.
You see, back in 2006, Life & Style paid $100,000 for the exclusive right to "sponsor" Lindsay's 20th birthday party.
Basically LiLo got to pass out in a six-figure mountain of cocaine in exchange for having the celebs who attended her party pose for photos in front of a backdrop with a bunch of corporate logos.
It's a pretty sweet deal, and it's no wonder that Lindsay tried to do work out a similar arrangement for her 30th birthday.
Of course, this time no one wanted any part of the deal, because ... well, remember that thing we said about Lindsay's last big movie coming out 12 freakin' years ago?
“[Lindsay's team] put together a one-sheet [proposal] of sponsorship opportunities, but nobody bit,” an insider tells Page Six of Lindsay's most recent b-day.
“She’s worked hard to reform her image, but nobody’s interested.”
Incidentally, Nobody's Interested would make a hell of a title for Lindsay's inevitable memoirs.
Fortunately, Lindsay is dating a rich Russian real estate agent these days, so she was able to party in Mykonos despite not having done much in the way of work for the past decade or so.
Yes, her career might be in the dumpster, but Lindsay will probably live high on the hog for the rest of her days because the world is unfair and life is a cruel joke.
But hey, there's always ice cream, right?