On The Real Housewives of Dallas Season 1 Episode 9, the ladies of Big D went to Brandi and Stephanie's lake house in Austin.
There - shocker - a secret and the fallout thereof quickly threatened to derail the relaxing, low-key weekend they had planned.
After a bus ride filled with discussions of bodily functions, the crew arrived at Stephanie and Brandi’s gorgeous Austin lake residence.
There, LeeAnne Locken wasted no time at all talking even more about bodily functions, clearing the air about the whole poop rumor.
She described the situation as such:
“Haven’t you ever wanted to be skinny on your birthday ... so you thought, ‘F--k it, I’ll take a little Ex-Lax, then drink too much and … it comes out.”
Yes, we have literally all been there, LL.
“Is it something I wanna share with people? No,” she added, confronting friend Marie Reyes about spreading this fecal-related rumor.
Marie quickly denied it and peaced out.
When that s--tstorm passed, Fireball shots and glasses of wine were consumed left and right, and Brandi decided to flip the f--k out.
Literally! The former cheerleader got up on the table as everyone quickly removed their drinks and performed a pretty damn cool flip.
Then she fell off her chair minutes later.
Later, they recalled the past night's antics. Brandi said, “Last night, I woke up to LeeAnne’s voice literally roaring throughout the house.”
Cary Deuber added to that with, “She was screaming at the top of her lungs in Marie’s face, telling her she was going to slaughter her.”
Stephanie recalled of the former carnival kid, “At one point she said she was gonna get her ‘carny style.’” Who knows what that means.
Soon enough, because we can never leave well enough alone, LeeAnne confronted Marie again about spreading that dirty poop rumor.
Marie's response? “You followed me around and said, ‘When I don’t like something, you know what happens? I gut them. I gut them!”
Clarifying her quasi-death threats, LeeAnne insisted that, “What you think is killing and what I think is killing are two different things.”
Cary then told Locken that “You’re gonna have to back down" in this feud, but suffice it to say she had no interest in doing so whatsoever.
LeeAnne vented to Tiffany Hendra later, “It’s not OK for me to be human but it’s OK for her to steal her man from a married woman?”
As Tiffany defended her friend's behavior, Brandi called her out to her face and said, “Tiffany, you talk in circles, it’s f--king annoying.”
Basically the episode could all be summed up with Cary's quote at the end in response to this beef: “Hashtag, worst girls trip ever!”
That's all for this week, folks. As always, you can follow the link watch The Real Housewives of Dallas online to get up to speed now.