Let's see, what's going on with Miley Cyrus and Liam Hemsworth this week?
Is Miley pregnant with Liam's baby? Nope, she must've just been bloated a few weeks ago.
Did Liam dump Miley over dog poop? Nah, guess she scrubbed it up or diapered her canines.
Ah, here we are: Miley Cyrus and Liam Hemsworth might be eloping!
Awesome! A new angle!
As you may be aware, the prevailing rumor is that the couple have been planning a summer wedding in Australia, even though Liam told a reporter he was not engaged back in April.
But apparently all the crazy wedding planning is turning every member of the Cyrus-Hemsworth clan into a bunch of zillas, according to Life & Style.
In fact, it's become a knock-down, drag-out battle between the future in-laws.
"Miley and Liam's parents were always respectful and civil with each other until they started wedding planning," a source told the publication.
"Now it's become an all-out war."
The Aussies and the Yanks are bickering over everything from the number of guests to having Billy Ray Cyrus officiate the wedding.
We heard Billy Ray was even growing his mullet back out for the occasion, so you can imagine his outrage.
All the family strife is really getting to Miley - so much so that she's willing to just call off the entire shindig and do it quick-and-dirty like.
"Miley got so sick over the family war that she hasn't been eating," the source added.
"The whole situation is making her want to just elope with Liam."
Miley Cyrus getting hitched by an overweight Elvis impersonator in Vegas? That sounds about right.