The Real Housewives of Dallas Recap: Mouth O' the South!

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Cary and Tiffany tried (at least in part) to forge a friendship on The Real Housewives of Dallas Season 1 Episode 4 Monday night, but ...

Let's just say big plans are often a big fail in Big D.

Basically, Tiffany Hendra tried - tried - to say something nice about Brandi Redmond to rival LeeAnne Locken while at a charity event.

'Cause, you know. Charity events are what they do.

Fans also saw Stephanie Hollman take Brandi and both of their kids pay a visit to the former's hometown of Coweta (Kwee-duh), Oklahoma.

After Cary Deuber took Tiffany to yoga and demonstrated some seriously impressive flexibility, the duo decided to go and grab juice.

That's not us being dirty, they really did.

Oh and it got juicy though. Tiffany defended LeeAnne’s recent behavior, and revealed that she used to hate her but no longer does:

“I thought she was so obnoxious and ‘all about me.' That’s a front that she puts up to protect herself because she has been hurt so much.”

Cary's take on the situation?

“She may have raised a lot of money, but [LeeAnne] is not one of the Dallas socialites. She’s not one of the old-money Dallas people.”

Burnt. Ya burnt crisp.

Meanwhile, LeeAnne prepped for a party, telling beau Rich Emberlin, “I’m excited … It’s just us hanging out, chilling, having a good time.”

She wishes.

As soon as Brandi walked in, Tiffany made sure the ex-heerleader knew she didn’t want to be involved in Brandi's beef with LeeAnne.

“I wanna get to know you on my own terms,” Tiffany said to Brandi, while LeAnne said. “I think it’s cute that Tiffany wants to play with rattlesnakes."

"I just hope," she added, not entirely clear on who is the supposed snake in this scenario, "that this one’s rattle works before it bites her.”

Taylor, a friend of party host Marie, then added, “Marie told me something about LeeAnne pooping her pants ‘cause she was so wasted!”

Ah yes. The fake deuceage.

That was the catalyst for Brandi and LeeAnne to have it out in epic fashion, with words exchanged and LeeAnne getting super angry.

We're talking dump-the-champagne-from-the-glass-on-the-floor angry, then hucking the glass itself across the room for good measure.

“That’s so classy, by the way,” Stephanie remarked, to which LeeAnne responded, “It is classy. By the way, you know what’s classy?

"Is that you stand up for a little piece of s--t trash who can’t keep her mouth shut. You know what? Your charity world is gonna go down the toilet.”

Mic. Dropped.

As always, you can follow the link to watch The Real Housewives of Dallas online to get up to speed with the latest episode anytime.

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