Donald Trump Talks Presidency, Puts Oreos on Blast

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At least for a few moments, Donald Trump has moved on from Mexicans and Megyn Kelly to focus on a problem truly threatening to bring America down:

Oreos.

Donald Trump Rolling Stone Cover

Wait... what?!?

Because parent company Nabisco has shipped jobs out of the country, Trump tells the latest issue of Rolling Stone that he's dead serious is making America better, one deprived dessert item at a time.

“I meant what I said: No more Oreos for Trump!” The Donald declares to the magazine.

Trump also tells the publication that he’s “owned by the people,” meaning he’s financing his own campaign and is therefore not beholden to donors or lobbyists.

Among other items touched on by the mocker of Asians:

U-S-A! U-S-A! I’d renegotiate trade deals so that our country becomes rich again, and end deals where car manufacturers go to other countries. I’m gonna have them built right here.

A Promise to the People: I’m no angel, but I’m gonna do right by them!

All About the Benjamins: I make $400 to $600 million a year.

Carly Fiorina: Look at that face! Would anyone vote for that? Can you imagine that, the face of our next president?! I mean, she's a woman, and I'm not supposed say bad things, but really, folks, come on. Are we serious?

Ivanka Trump: Yeah, she's really something, and what a beauty, that one. If I weren't happily married and, ya know, her father...

What Will He Do About ISIS? We gotta waterboard 'em, don't you agree?

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Donald Trump Biography

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Donald Trump