Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie: No Sex For 207 Days! Totally (Not) Getting a $425 Divorce!

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We were just thinking Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie haven't been the subject of a fake divorce story in awhile. We break the cycle here, thanks to the National Enquirer.

Pretty poor timing for the celebrity gossip rag actually.

The same week as Angelina Jolie had her ovaries removed and sparked serious debate over cancer prevention, they claim she's GETTING A DIVORCE!!!

Sort of seems trite, doesn't it? Not to mention untrue.

Alleged sources tell the Enquirer that Brad was so furious that he hasn't said sex in 207 days (exactly) that he walked out on the mother of his six kids.

"Complaining over their ‘sexless nights,’ Brad was so upset about it that he left Angie and walked out! The two have hit rock bottom in their relationship."

Brad Pitt, allegedly, "feels like it’s over. Their joyous nuptials, coming years after being partners and parents together, now seem like a lifetime ago.”

Now their $425 million fortune hangs in the balance!

Or not. This whole report is about as anti-Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie as you can get. Sure, they are busy people with complicated lives and problems.

Still ... no sex? Come on. Divorce? Please.

Just when you think the tabloids might move on from the INEVITABLE Brangelina split or trying to get Jennifer Aniston pregnant, back they go once more.

Keep up the terrible work you guys.

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Angelina Jolie Biography

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Born
Birthplace
Los Angeles, California
Full Name
Angelina Jolie Voight

Angelina Jolie Quotes

I'm very happy. Unlike most women, I love being pregnant... You just feel like everything about your body is there for your baby.

Angelina Jolie

Yeah, yeah, we've confirmed that already.

Angelina Jolie [after being asked if she's having twins]