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Two and a Half Men wrapped up an often-ridiculed, albeit wildly successful, 12-season run last night with a single word: WINNING.

But it was not uttered by former star Charlie Sheen.

Indeed, Two and a Half Men Season 12 Episode 15 focused entirely on the question of whether Charlie Harper is actually alive, an issue raised after Walden and Alan received an unclaimed royalty check worth $2.5 million for Charlie’s years as a children’s songwriter.

Might those ashes in Walden’s liquor cabinet somehow NOT contain Alan’s ex-roommate?!?

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Watch Two and a Half Men Season 12 Episode 15 Online

The search was on, though it didn’t end with a much-hyped cameo by Sheen. Instead, Two and a Half Men creator Chuck Lorre actually showed up at the close of the hour to utter Sheen’s one-word motto.

Then, a piano fell from the sky and crushed him like a bug, just as it crushed Sheen’s Harper before him.

“I know a lot of you might be disappointed that you didn’t get to see Charlie Sheen in tonight’s finale," Lorre wrote on the episode’s post-credits vanity card, adding/explaining:

"For the record he was offered a role. Our idea was to have him walk up to the front door in the last scene, ring the doorbell, then turn, look directly into the camera and go off on a maniacal rant about the dangers of drug abuse. He would then explain that these dangers only apply to average people.

"That he was far from average. He was a ninja warrior from Mars. He was invincible. And then we would drop a piano on him. We thought it was funny. He didn’t.

"Instead, he wanted us to write a heart-warming scene that would set up his return to primetime TV in a new sitcom called The Harpers starring him and Jon Cryer. We thought that was funny, too."

Elsewhere on a very meta finale ("It’s amazing you’ve made so much money with such stupid jokes," Ashton Kutcher’s Walden said at one point), which you can relive when you watch Two and a Half Men online:

  • Arnold Schwarzenegger, John Stamos, Christian Slater and Angus T. Jones all stopped by as guest stars.
  • We learned Jake is happily married to a pole dancer in Japan and that he has kids.
  • Judith is alone, though happy, having received $100,000 from
  • Alan’s second wife, Kandi, is still a rich and famous TV star, while current fiancée Lyndsey was busy hocking her engagement ring at a nearby pawnshop. 
  • Berta chose to remain Walden and Alan’s housekeeper, content enough with additional funds allotted to her by Charlie. 
  • Walden ended up in new relationship with social worker Ms. McMartin, building a life together along with Walden’s adopted son, Louis.

So there you have it. What did everyone think of the Two and a Half Men series finale? Grade it now: