On Marriage Boot Camp Season 2 Episode 6, the quote-unquote celebrity couples strove to break down barriers in the bedroom. It's as hot as you think it was.
Which, if you watch Marriage Boot Camp online, you know is not very.
The first drill is a harmless game of spin the bottle, in which the bottle lands on a person, who must then draw a card and truthfully answer a question on it.
When Marriage Boot Camp Season 2 Episode 6 got underway, the answers are relatively routine and honest until we land on Reid and Aviva Drescher.
Asked "What do you want more of in bed?" Reid wants more cuddles.
Is he full of it and trying to duck the question? Or is Aviva such a cold-hearted banshee that she never offers any real affection or closeness, even in bed?
Either way, serious ridicule quickly ensues from their fellow co-stars.
It gets worse. Asked what her pet name is for Reid in bed, Aviva looks mortified and comes up with ... Monster. We don't believe that for one second.
Next, the couples are asked to make a sex tape with puppets. Seriously. The idea is to simulate how their sex life is versus how they would want it to be.
Natalie Nunn's puppets want to bone 24/7. At least Jacob's does.
Aviva and Reid are just cringing at the idea of this exercise, and she says she won't do the puppet sex because she doesn’t want her children to watch it.
Apparently Aviva Drescher throwing her leg at another woman’s face is okay, but not a discussion of puppet sex on A SHOW THEY SIGNED UP FOR.
Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt, meanwhile, have the somewhat unexpected problem in which she wants to hump quite often but he is rarely into it.
He's also deathly afraid of getting Heidi pregnant, so there's that.
Later, he comes clean about his depression with life, which may be the real issue: “We were operating at such a euphoric high of life and it just crashed so hard."
“I invested most of our money in room service, high end hotels, clothes and bodyguards. I don’t want to be a reality star but now I’ve been doing this so long."
"I don’t know what career I want to do,” Spencer Pratt laments.
Heidi Montag is equally sad, crying, “It’s hard to forgive yourself. I thought I was to be the biggest pop star ever. Now, it’s like I just don’t feel like I have a purpose.”
Deep stuff from Marriage Boot Camp, people. Deep stuff.