Snooki: The Situation and Vinny Guadagnino Weren't at My Wedding Because...

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It's GTL time! In this case, that means Get married, Talk about it, and Let the world know why your co-stars were MIA!

As you may have heard, Snooki married Jionni LaValle last week in a Gatsby-themed ceremony in Jersey (of course).

And while it's always a little sad when two people base their wedding decor on a book that neither of them has read (we assume), it was otherwise a joyous affair with most of Snook's Jersey Shore castmates in attendance.

Noticeably missing were fan favorite Vinny Guadagnino, and rightfully reviled douche bag Mike "The Situation" Sorrentino.

So what gives? Did someone sound the grenade whistle, thus keeping the bros at bay? Were Mike and Vinny not ready for DTF (Donning tuxes and formalwear)?

No, it turns out the boardwalk lotharios were left off the guest list for a far more obvious reason:

"I think everybody knows we're not friends," Snooki said when asked about The Sitch in a recent interview. "And me and Vinny, we don't get along either...It is what it is."

The first part makes sense: The Situation tried to break Snooki and Jionni up by claiming that he smushed with Snooks, but what's her beef with Vinny?

They always seemed to get along. In fact, if memory serves Vinny and Snooki had sex and...oooooh. Now we get it. Abiding by the old "no former smush partners at the wedding, fuggedaboutit!" rule. 

In that case, we imagine there was no one Snooki's side of the aisle save for her parents and a few immediate cousins.

We know, she's a married woman now. That was just one last, nostalgic barb to remind you of the days when Snooks banged the entire population of Seaside Heights every summer. Ah, memories...

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Snooki Biography

Snooki Polizzi
Nicole Polizzi is a cast member on MTV's Jersey Shore. She fake-tans and acts like a bit of a skank. Then again that sums up the whole... More »
Birthplace
Poughkeepsie, New York
Full Name
Snooki