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Last month, Martha Stewart dissed Gwyneth Paltrow in an interview, saying that the actress-turned-lifestyle-guru should stick to the big screen and leave the party planning to the pros.

After weeks of jotting down potential comebacks with her organic squid ink fountain pen, Paltrow has finally responded:

“If I’m really honest, I’m so psyched that she sees us as competition,” Paltrow said when asked about Stewart recently. “I’m so psyched. I really am.”

That excitement might be a bit premature, as Martha never actually said that she considers Gwinnie to be competition. 

Her exact quote was, “She just needs to be quiet – she’s a movie star…If she were confident in her acting, she wouldn’t be trying to be Martha Stewart.”


Makes Gwyneth’s response seem a bit Single White Female-ish in context, no?

Stewart basically said, “This chick needs to chill and stop trying to be me,” and Paltrow was all, “Ah, she’s acknowledged me! Now to acquire a DNA sample and commence phase two.”

It’s a testament to how delusional Gwyneth is that found encouragement in Martha’s command to sit the eff down.

Lots of people want Gwyneth Paltrow to be quiet, that doesn’t mean they feel threatened by her.

After all, this is the woman who compared negative Internet comments to war trauma. She should probably just give up talking. It’s clearly not her thing.