If you didn't watch True Tori Season 2 Episode 2, then you didn't get to find out that Tori is the world's most spoiled hoarder and even more of a head case than we thought.
This is a woman who feels she needs to keep all her expensive crap while her family because goes bankrupt because, like, her dad wanted her to have nice stuff.
These revelations bizarrely segued into her reaching out to her ex-husband for reasons unknown, making for a very weird hour of reality TV even by her standards.
Fans who suffered through the latest installment of the Lifetime drama get to see Tori's warehouse full of pricey knick-knacks, which was revealing for a few reasons:
- It reveals that Tori Spelling might actually be legitimately mentally ill, as opposed to just a terrible person, as we'd previously thought.
- It features one of the most awkward scripted segues in reality TV history, as Tori pretends that the sight of all her overpriced trinkets fills her with the need to contact her first husband!
Yes, with all the talk about Dean cheating on Tori, it's easy to forget that Tori's a cheater too!
In fact, it was only about a year after her $1 million wedding to Charlie Shanian that Tori ditched the dude for Dean McDermott.
(Whom, of course, she had already been banging for several months.)
The episode seemed to hint that we might be seeing a cameo from Charlie at some point, which would be in keeping with the season's theme of exes resurfacing to remind the audience that both Tori and Dean are terrible.
Dean's first wife Mary Jo Eustace calls Dean a "knob" this season in a hilarious cameo, but don't expect any such light-hearted digs from Shanian.
The former actor seems to have disappeared from public life in the years since his split from Tori, wanting nothing to do with her and making it clear there's no love lost.
Despite her claims that their marriage was troubled from the start, comments he made shortly after their split make it clear that he was completely blindsided by her infidelity:
"Fifteen months into my marriage, I open the National Enquirer to see pictures of what appeared to be my wife giving another man a lap dance," said Shanian in one of his only interviews since the breakup.
"In the end, I didn't screw up she did. Well, some might say, she screwed down, but that's a matter of opinion."
Nah, we're pretty sure that's a matter of fact at this point, Charlie.
As always, you can follow the link to watch True Tori online at TV Fanatic for more evidence that Tori and Dean are the worst (or at least the least stable) people ever.