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James Franco’s crush on Lana Del Rey is so intense it threatens to consume his deeply poetic soul, but sadly his feelings aren’t reciprocated.

But he won’t give up! These days, when he’s not filling notebooks with tortured free verse about his love for Lana, James employs a method utilized by friend-zoned dudes for generations.

He posts constant photos of the two of them in hopes that Lana will look at the pics and say, “Aw, we totally make a cute couple. I should bang him.”

But just like when Franco seduced that teen on Instagram, the whole thing is blowing up in his face!

Lana’s not taking the bait and she’s still dating Francesco Carrozzini even though he’s totally not famous!

So what did Franco do? He upped the ante by forcing LDR (and everyone else) to imagine a world in which he and Lana are not only dating, but actively making artsy babies who pop out with faces full of stubble and cigs hanging from their mouths. (It’s a painful delivery.)

Franco posted the above photo to Instagram yesterday with a HIGH-larious caption reading, “Oh snap. We got married. JUST KIDDING!!”

Ha! Oh, Franco, you card. You know before he posted this he turned to her and said, “Wouldn’t it be crazy if we got married?” and when she doubled over laughing, he was all, “Yeah, hilarious. I totally wouldn’t want to ruin our friendship!