The Real Housewives of New Jersey Recap: Rebuilding Jersey

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It's "Salon, Farewell" as The Real Housewives of New Jersey wrap up their season as everyone gathers at the salon. We recap the fighting and scary faces in our THG + or - review.

And what kind of finale would it be without Kim D's scowling face?

What's So Scary?

Apparently the woman who resembles the crypt keeper scares Joe and Teresa Giudice too? Plus 20.

But it's Penny and Teresa who go at it first. Since Penny is claiming Teresa texts her, Teresa wants to see the texts. Plus 12 because for once Teresa makes a perfectly reasonable request. 

Unfortunately Penny tells her, "I don't save my texteses." Or was that I don't save Texas? Minus 18. My Jersey Housewives translator must be on the fritz.

And Minus 30 because if Teresa's voice went any higher it could break glass. Please make her stop.

Then Joe Gorga gets in Johnny, Penny's husband's face about him sending mean tweets and at first he manages to hold his temper. Plus 10.

Oh, but that doesn't last long. Before you know it there's enough cursing and screaming to remind me that this is indeed The Real Housewives of New Jersey.

Unfortunately when one person screams, everyone screams and the cameras are dancing around so much it's impossible to see what's really happening. Minus 25.

It's actually kind of funny watching someone hold Kim D back and Caroline practically crying "I don't understand how people are so evil." in son Christopher's arms. These two weren't even involved in this conversation.

Although Kim D does look a little like the devil. She could drive almost anyone to tears. Minus 15.

Finally, Teresa decides to side with her family and tells the rest that if, "they wanna buy Milania hair products, tell them to go f**k themselves."

For this family, that's considered progress. Plus 21.

In the aftermath something astonishing happens. Teresa admits to her brother that she took pleasure in hearing people say bad things about Melissa when they weren't getting along.

Yes, I know it's not much. She doesn't say she started the rumors. She won't admit she was involved at all…but for Tre, just accepting responsibility for this much is huge. Plus 40.

Maybe it's the Love Poison in the muddy water…oh I mean in the blk water.

Teresa and her brother cry and hug and…is it horrible to admit I was a little bored? Haven't we been here before? Minus 19.

The season ends with everyone hanging out at the Jersey shore…looking an awful lot like family. Plus 50.

Will it last? From the looks of the reunion previews that's a giant NO…but this is The Real Housewives of New Jersey. What were you expecting?

And did you catch the Joe and Teresa interview with Andy Cohen?  We'll hit the highlights…

  • Teresa doesn't even know what their charged with.
  • Joe claims he doesn't know if he's looking at 50 or 100 years behind bars.
  • They haven't told Gia that there's the possibility they might have to do jail time.
  • Melissa and Joe will not get their kids if they do go to prison.
  • When asked whether they have lived beyond their means…Tre gives an emphatic no!

We'll see what else comes out in next week's Reunion show.

Episode total = +46!  Season total = -578!

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