Chrissy Teigen does not mince words.
After the New York Post claimed her fiance John Legend cheated on her with some woman in a NYC club bathroom, the SI model fired back on Twitter.
"Just read John cheated on me and in the uber-credible Post. I'm just heartbroken as it's definitely not typical post bulls--t," the 27-year-old tweeted.
"The @nypost is normally so kind to me. And I am normally not the one to use the term 's--t rag' so I guess we're both a little off today."
Buuuuuurn. And she wasn't done yet!
"Gonna buy a parrot for the sole reason of it s--tting on the post every day," the beauty quipped later. "Also the singing and companionship."
And then, this gem directed at Legend:
"@johnlegend my tummy hurts and I think it's the chicken you made me last night are you trying to kill me so u can be with your bathroom GF?"
The singer's response?
"My tummy hurts too. It was a murder-suicide attempt."
Well played. And of course John Legend wouldn't cheat.
Have you seen Chrissy Teigen nude, people?
Teigen went on to ask her future husband when she will get "one of those Vanessa Bryant rings," like the one Kobe got his scorned wife back in '03.
"Soon!" Legend wrote back, then added this hilarious caveat:
"It will be proportionately smaller to reflect how much richer Kobe is."
"Okay," Chrissy said. "Since it's a ring pop now, I prefer watermelon."
Nice to see potentially upsetting rumors turned out to provide quality comedic fodder. You see? Even the worst celebrity gossip sources have value.