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When an insane sorority girl email from a University of Maryland student to her Delta Gamma sisters leaked online, people were stunned. Appalled.

Shocked. Falling over laughing. So many emotions.

Whatever you made of her strongly-worded expletive-ridden rant, it clearly required a spoke-word reading by a performer with gravitas. Enter Michael Shannon.

Watch below as the thespian (Boardwalk Empire, Take Shelter, Revolutionary Road) and his commanding presence bring the email to life for Funny or Die:

Michael Shannon Reads Sorority Girl Email

While the text of the email posted by THG initially listed the author’s name as Julia, she was later revealed as Rebecca Martinson. Well played, Rebecca.

Now please see the UMD Counseling office.