The Bachelor Trailer: I Can't BELIEVE They Did This to Me!

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With the season premiere just days away, ABC has released an extended trailer for The Bachelor's Season 17, starring Sean Lowe as the title character.

We say character because the "reality" of the show is rather marginal.

How else can you explain this masterfully edited, melodramatic, over-the-top montage, which will likely air at the end of Monday's season opener? Enjoy:

Need more scoop? See The Bachelor spoilers we've compiled so far for the 2013 edition of one of TV's guiltiest, unintentionally hilarious pleasures.

As for the above video, where do we even begin ...

Highlights of this preview include Sean Lowe actually recycling the perennial "here for the right reasons" line, a lot of staged, pensive visuals, and cat fights.

And more cat fights, and name-calling, and roller derby takedowns. And the implication that one of the girls was pushed down the stairs of the mansion.

Pretty amazing. Both that Sean Lowe agreed to star, given what a stand-up guy he seems to be, or that ABC continues to up the absurd ante every year.

Not that we're complaining. Is it January 7 yet?

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The Bachelor Quotes

There’s still a lot of growing to do in our relationship. We will not tie the knot until I am mentally and physically prepared as well as Matt.

Shayne Lamas

It was a fairytale proposal like I’ve always dreamed about. I forgot that there [were] cameras around. In that moment, it was just Matt and I and it was the most amazing moment of my entire life.

Shayne Lamas [on proposal by Matt Grant]