Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt say they were - wait ... just wait for it ... only pretending to be mean to win votes and cash in on Celebrity Big Brother (UK).
It almost worked. On Friday night, Speidi came second in the reality TV competition, leaving the house in England to a barrage of boos from the crowd.
Rylan Clark won the title, edging out Heidi and Spencer, who says backstabbing and general brutal gameplay was the whole reason they signed on.
“They brought us in to be Speidi and stir it up,” Spencer Pratt said. “I feel like a cartoon character. My talent for some odd reason is being an a**hole.”
Before leaving the house, Spencer and Heidi apologized. A tearful Spencer said over dinner: “At first I told Big Brother you gave me the wrong cast."
"These aren’t the people I was prepared to go to war with."
“And it was so hard to dig deep to even say a negative thing to be the bad guy. It’s been very difficult for me to be awful but there’s got to be a bad guy."
"There’s got to be a baddie. I had to step up."
“People pay my bills. I can’t come all the way from America and play the good guy when that’s not what they cast me for,” Mr. Heidi Montag lamented.
The man makes a valid point. If someone pays you big bucks to act more fake than Heidi's hilarious plastic boobs, then you gotta honor the arrangement.
As for who didn't see that coming ... don't ask us. But we've been well accustomed to Speidi's antics for the past fives years. Britain didn't know what hit it.
Spencer and Heidi ...