The Real Housewives of New Jersey Recap: A Strip Down Memory Lane

by at . Comments

It's the season finale of The Real Housewives of New Jersey and it's a "Strip Down Memory Lane" but whose memory is telling the truth?  We recap all of the lies, spies, and hidden texting in our THG +/- review!

Teresa Confronts Melissa

Angelo, the former strip club manager now supposed spa owner is back and not only is this guy sleazy, he's a horrible actor.  Minus 10.

I love Kathy's reaction to the guy.  She thinks he's just some sleazeball hitting on Melissa.  Well, she's half right. Then she rolls her eyes when she quips, "We're all married here.  Move along."  Plus 8.

Somehow once Kim D takes the mic at her fashion show she manages to look even trashier.  I wouldn't have thought that possible.  Minus 12.

Last week I was almost willing to give Teresa the benefit of the doubt.  Maybe this was all Kim D's doing and Teresa was just being used.  Then Teresa opened her mouth and looked guiltier with every word she spoke.

If Teresa didn't want any trouble she would have kept her mouth shut.  Instead she followed Melissa into the ladies room and confronted her, asking her about Angelo.  Minus 13.  I smell a pink sequined rat.

Melissa swears she only bartended for the guy and that it was before she ever met Joe.  Again Teresa shows her true colors when Melissa says she was teaching second grade when she met her husband.  Teresa's response, I don't know what you were doing at nightMinus 15.  Wow!  Who says that?

Angelo makes the rounds at Posche telling anyone who will listen that Melissa danced at his club and that Teresa was in on the set up.  Then once word gets out that Melissa has called her husband, the Mr. Clean look a like disappears and Teresa bolts through the room trying to do damage control.

Back at the booth, everyone's trying to figure out what the heck is going on as they text one another under the table.  Plus 10 to Kathy who decides she'd rather just sit there and eat her salad.

Jacqueline gets a text from a friend that says this set up has been weeks in the making.  She shows it to Lauren who shows it to Caroline who shows it to Melissa.  Minus 7.  This is beginning to feel like a high tech version of telephone.

As Kathy says, anyone who is a real friend to Melissa wouldn't care whether she danced for this guy ten years ago or not.  Teresa seems the only one obsessed with the idea.

Which leads to the question…why now?  Everything was going so well.  Is trying to prove that Melissa has a sordid past worth betraying her brother?  Minus 15.  It seems so.

Perhaps she just didn't think this through because the thought of her brother getting involved seems to shock her.  Then again, Teresa's not exactly the sharpest tool in the shed.

Again, Kathy pegs it when she says that whether or not Teresa was involved in the set up, she certainly didn't do anything to stop it. 

The saddest part may be when Teresa turns on Jacqueline.  When she tries to throw all of the blame for this debacle on her, you can see how crushed Jacqueline is. Then, on camera, she digs up her friends supposed stripper past. Teresa knows no shame.  Minus 13.

Jacqueline's Reached Her Limit

On the up side, I think Jacqueline is finally done with Teresa. Plus 20.

Then all of sudden Kim D. has all of these friends of hers who mysteriously come forward to swear they knew Melissa was a stripper all along.  Of course Kim D is despicable trash so consider the source.

At the end of the show we find out the following...

  • Caroline has not spoken to Teresa since the last reunion show.  No surprise there.
  • Lauren got Lap-Band surgery and Cafface is thriving.
  • Albie and LIndsey are no longer and item.  Minus 10. That's a shame. They both looked happy.
  • Kathy's homemade cannoli kit comes out this year. Plus 5.  I might actually buy one.
  • Victoria's staying home.  Dorm rooms weren't for her.
  • Kathy's still talking to Teresa..through texts.  Why bother?
  • Melissa and Joe are selling the house to get farther away from Teresa.  I wonder how far they're willing to go.
  • Teresa wrote another book, "Fabulicious! Fast & Fit."  It's a NYT best seller.  Minus 7.  Who buys these things?
  • Joe is still awaiting trial.
  • Teresa hasn't seen her brother since the Posche Fashion Show.
  • Teresa apologized to her fellow cast mates. Of course she did it in a magazine…and she excluded Kathy once again.  So funny Plus 11.
  • Jacqueline hasn't spoken to Teresa since this episode. Plus 15.  Good for her.

Now we have to tune in next week to see who will actually show up for the reunion.


Tags: , , , ,