The Real Housewives of New Jersey Recap: The Jersey Side Step

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It's a big night for The Real Housewives of New Jersey and their families as they do "The Jersey Side Step" right out of the state. Can Melissa play to a crowd? Will the Manzo boys stay sober long enough to get some work done? We recap it all in this week's THG +/- review.

We start off small with Kathy heading over to an ice cream store in Paterson to ask them to taste her cookies but she complains when Rich takes over. Minus 8. If she really didn't want him to interfere she should have left him at home. 

And can someone please inform Richie that it's no longer 1992? He can turn his shirt collar down now. Minus 7.

Melissa Gorga Singing

The Beat Stock concert is fast approaching and we get glimpses of both Gia and Melissa practicing their routines. Before the show Teresa's kids are openly mocking aunt Melissa as Teresa and Joe laugh. Minus 10. If the Guidices were serious about mending the rift between their families they should have stopped the little brats immediately, not encouraged them.

Can someone please explain to me how people who are going bankrupt can afford a personal hair stylist and makeup artist?  I'm really confused.

At least Melissa is honest enough with herself to admit that she's not the best singer. Plus 11. She's obviously lip synching but I can't even deduct points for that. When major stars are doing it, it's hard to expect more from Mrs. Gorga. 

Do you think Joe Gorga believes in his wife's talent or is his encouragement just his way of ensuring his sex life? And oh God, did we really need the crotch shot by the pool?  Minus 12.

When I think it can't get any worse, it does. Later on we see Joe sucking on Melissa's toes. Ugh. Minus another 12. I think I'd rather see the crotch shot again.

The Manzos and Lauritas prepare for the Fancy Foods trade show in Washington, D.C.  Albert's hawking his Brownstone tomato sauce and is considering plastering Caroline's face on the label since to him she represents the traditional old Italian Mom. Then the boys tell her if the pictures don't look good they'll just pull the whole idea. 

Plus 10 because they basically get away with calling Caroline old and ugly without reprecussion.  I kept waiting for them to ask her to hold the jar higher so that it blocked her out entirely.

Manzo Pic

The boys are off trying to sell blk. water with uncle Chris. The boxes say that blk. water is infused with fulvic acid. A quick internet search says that it's basically a derivative of substances from decaying plants and animals.

Minus 9. That sounds like something I buy filters to keep out of my water, not pay extra to have put into it. Hopefully these boys have one Hell of a sales pitch.

I will admit that the packaging looks good and the booth is well done so plus 10 but how much money has uncle Chris put into this? The trade show booth cost somewhere close to $20,000. That van with the blk. Water wrap on it is probably close to $50,000.

And then there's the dinner at The Russian House where Chris gets to watch his nephews and their friends get plastered doing vodka shots the night before their big show. It wouldn't surprise me if Chris paid for that too.

Albie cries that he's doing all this work and not taking a salary but that makes me wonder who is paying the $3,000 a month rent on that apartment they're living in in Hoboken?

Minus 15 because uncle Chris is really the only one with something on the line in this. If it all falls apart I have no doubt that the Manzo boys will just go home to Mommy.

Finally why are uncle Chris and Caroline bashing Lindsey for being a clingy girlfriend? Didn't Chris just say that Albie was the one having a freak out because his girlfriend didn't return a text and wasn't picking up her phone. Wouldn't that make Albie the clingy boyfriend?

Next week the whole crew gets in an RV for five days of alcohol and togetherness in Napa. What could possibly go wrong?

Episode total:  -42  Season total: -179

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