It's part two of The Real Housewives of New Jersey reunion show and the finger pointing continues, literally, as we rehash the season's ups and downs.
Let's break it all down in THG's +/- recap!
Andy said he's never seen a hornier guy than Joe Gorga. I've got to agree and if he just left it at that, we'd be good, but did he have to make it into a contest? Minus 10 for leading us down the which Joe is hornier road. I really didn't want to think about that.
Everyone's sex lives were paraded out for public scrutiny, not that most of them seemed to care. The high point was Albert's comment while he was sharing a suite with Teresa and Joe in Mexico. "I like to listen to you guys when you're going at it like cats." Plus 5 just for making me laugh. At least somebody got some entertainment out of it.
Plus 10 to Caroline. She said that her sex life with her husband was nobody else's business. It was one of the few sane answers of the night.
But it sounded like Caroline had bigger issues. She and sister Dina haven't spoken in months and Caroline blamed Teresa. Supposedly there were texts and e-mails to back this up. Of course since Dina's no longer on the show we didn't get to see any of that so this discussion got boring fast. Minus 7.
I'd happily hand out bonus points to anyone who could get Teresa to stop screeching. It never happened so Minus 10 for my growing headache.
But back to Teresa who seemed to hog the spotlight for almost every conversation. She'd written a blog calling Kathy evil and sneaky and bashing her for stealing her brother on Christmas Eve.
She's still harping on that Christmas Eve dinner? Minus 8. Get over it already. The best part of the entire conversation was when Melissa asked why she'd want to stay when Joe Guidice was sitting there calling her raccoon face. Teresa tried to explain. He wasn't saying that about Melissa. He was calling Kathy raccoon face.
How do I even give points for that? It's so ridiculous it's funny so it could earn a Plus 10 or is the obvious lie that now insults both her sister-in-law and cousin so sad it gets a Minus 10? All in all I'll call it a Wash.
Plus 7 for the entertainment Teresa's unique grammar style brought to the night. I loved how she "distant" herself from the situation and how the men weren't "un-edcated." I'd say someone seemed to be "un-edcated" but I'll let the viewer decide who.
Andy brought up that Joe Guidice frequently used gay slurs while being filmed and even has them plugged into his phone as the title for his brother-in-law. They admitted there were two particularly offensive words that Joe uses frequently and I'm sure I can guess both. It's no wonder Bravo didn't air the other one.
Teresa was oblivious to it all or the effect that type of behavior could have on her children. She made nothing but excuses for her husband and when Andy brought up that he threatened to punch Joe Gorga and have his jaw wired shut, her only response was, "So what?" Minus 25. I've never understood why this type of atrocious behavior is condoned.
On a lighter note, I loved how Melissa whipped out her cell phone and scrolled through a list of all of the insults Teresa had hurled at her all season. Plus 7 for being prepared.
So who was more evil this season? Teresa or Melissa? Did Caroline meddle too much? Did Kathy hold her own and do you think Jacqueline will continue with the show? Season Four is currently filming so stay tuned. The debacle that is The Real Housewives of New Jersey isn't over yet but at least we'll get a breather and let my Excedrin kick in.
EPISODE TOTAL: -36. SEASON TOTAL: -104.