The Real Housewives of New Jersey Recap: "Auld Lang Syne For an Eye"

by at . Comments

It's New Year's Eve and The Real Housewives of New Jersey are descending on The Brownstone to celebrate. Will they make it to midnight without a brawl?

Let's check it out in THG's +/- review!

Caroline's still doing her radio show and good for her. Her advice is right on the money. You never know what the new year might bring and don't let bitter people affect your goals. She earns a Plus 10 for the positive message.

But not everyone is taking her advice.

Awesome Play Date

Teresa seems determined to be bitter and mean while Melissa keeps throwing out an olive branch. Did you catch some of those digs she took at Melissa?

When Melissa shares that she's working on an album Teresa shoots back that "Nowadays anybody can be a singer." I'll admit there's some truth in the statement but Ouch! Minus 8 because that doesn't sound like someone looking to bury the hatchet.

And Melissa commenting that Teresa is like Ursula looking to steal her voice just popped a picture into my head. I can just see Teresa snatching Melissa's voice and then running through the house gleefully cackling. Plus 7 for the imaginary fun.

Then when Teresa talks about her new family cookbook, Melissa offers one of her own recipes and Teresa later snarks, "We all know that bitch doesn't cook." Minus another 10. Teresa's claws are definitely out and hoping to find blood.

How many animals were harmed in the making of those children's clothes? I know, I know. They weren't real (at least I hope not) but I don't think I've ever seen so many tiny little animal prints before. Plus 5 because I simply found it funny to look at but Minus 7 for Miania wearing the leopard print boots with the 3-inch heel. She's four years old. Talk about trying to ruin her feet early. That they even make those is completely ridiculous.

Ashley, Ashley, Ashley. Every week I dislike this girl a little more. She has loving parents and grandparents that want nothing but the best for her. Even cousin Lauren is trying to give her an opportunity but all Ashley can do is whine that she doesn't like deadlines.  This kid is nothing but a stupid, spoiled little girl. Minus 15 because she can't even comprehend how privileged she is. Who wants to see Ashley flipping burgers to pay her bills?

I'd love to see Chris and Jacqueline throw Ashley out on her disrespectful butt but I know it won't happen. My guess is she'll move out when she finds some equally stupid but gullible guy to take care of her.

On to the New Year's Eve party. The Brownstone looks like it throws a heck of a private party for the New Year. Plus 9

Professional Makeup

Why is it that none of these women ever do their own makeup? Do they look that bad that they all need professional help? And with a bankruptcy looming you'd think that's an expense that could be cut, but that's just me.

Does it seem as though the world revolves around Teresa? At least she seems to think so. She's irritated that Caroline invited Kathy. Minus 5. Honey, it's not your party. If you don't like it, don't go.

She thinks that Rich's teasing is a come on, although I'll admit that I find Rich kind of creepy. Then she believes that her cookbooks are what inspired Kathy to pursue cooking. Seriously. Talk about delusional. Minus 8. I'd bet Kathy's been cooking her entire life and starting a catering business has more to do with her kids being older and looking for a challenge than it has anything to do with Mrs. Guidice and her books.

Did you catch Joe feeling up Teresa at the party. Eww. Feeling up your wife's breasts in a public place, not cool. Minus 7.

Yet again Melissa came off as the voice of reason. Go figure. This is turning into a trend. Plus 15 for making sure the kids get together, putting up with Teresa's sarcastic comments and even inviting her on vacation.

In the end, Caroline is right. Melissa and Kathy keep trying to pull the family together and Teresa keeps slamming the door on them. So who is the bad guy in this?


Tags: , , , , ,